tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30125558144433350542024-03-13T11:37:41.534-04:00Beautiful MomentsLynette's musings on lifeLynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-49867101836905808812018-08-30T06:24:00.002-04:002018-08-30T06:25:14.413-04:00New blog site!<br />
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If you're wondering where I've been, well, life is busy, but I haven't completely abandoned writing! I'm actually trying out a new, more polished look for my blog. So for the foreseeable future, you can find me <a href="https://lynetterallcock.wixsite.com/beautifulmoments" target="_blank">here at Beautiful Moments. </a><br />
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You can read my latest piece there about what my relationship is teaching me -- three things I would tell my single self if I could go back in time.<br />
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-85166704703239084922018-05-29T13:47:00.000-04:002018-05-29T13:47:27.439-04:00Keep GoingHave you ever questioned why you set out on a certain journey? Have you ever been disheartened? What do you do in those moments?<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pdmO0yZ19WI/Ww2LwbMLG-I/AAAAAAAAA5Q/BjGE8OT0kh8NoM1UhFyMvLKX88QkXspDQCLcBGAs/s1600/WhatsApp%2BImage%2B2018-05-29%2Bat%2B17.15.34.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1066" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pdmO0yZ19WI/Ww2LwbMLG-I/AAAAAAAAA5Q/BjGE8OT0kh8NoM1UhFyMvLKX88QkXspDQCLcBGAs/s400/WhatsApp%2BImage%2B2018-05-29%2Bat%2B17.15.34.jpeg" width="400" /></a>For me, the transition to broadcasting has been a rough road at times. I'm finding my feet, and loving so much of what I do, but it's also hard.<br />
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Waking up at 3.30am is hard (plus the struggling social life that comes from being desperately tired by 8pm, even on weekends!). It's hard figuring out how to balance everything that is expected of me in this new role whilst also keeping healthy boundaries.<br />
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There are the general challenges associated with being part of a small start-up team trying to do an enormous job, and there are other challenges specific to our context. It can be quite demoralising.<br />
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What keeps you persevering past the obstacles in your path?<br />
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Moments like these keep me going.<br />
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"I think I was meant to find your radio station," the woman said softly. She stood with a nervous smile in the middle of our studio as we poured her a cup of tea. Penelope had written to my co-host and I after we discussed self-love on our breakfast show, sharing her battle with feeling worthless and how the turning point came after she rediscovered God. We'd invited her to the studio to tell her story for broadcast.<br />
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And now, here she was. "God led me to you," Penelope said. "I was just twisting the dial in my car and stumbled across your station. I've been listening and loving it ever since." She paused. "I should tell you, though, I'm not Adventist. Is that OK?"<br />
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"Of course it's OK!" we reassured her. Inside, we were jubilant. OK?! This was exactly what we had been praying for! Our radio station is not supposed to be merely entertainment for those inside our church; it's supposed to be relevant and inspirational for people of other backgrounds.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VXZBYzxUl5Y/Ww2LpH_QlJI/AAAAAAAAA5E/dZu3srhno84MRloD09j2q0Ocr5zbndgxACLcBGAs/s1600/30051791_1665873143520798_1483951249976873308_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VXZBYzxUl5Y/Ww2LpH_QlJI/AAAAAAAAA5E/dZu3srhno84MRloD09j2q0Ocr5zbndgxACLcBGAs/s400/30051791_1665873143520798_1483951249976873308_o.jpg" width="400" /></a>I felt like Penny's appearance was a wink from God: "Yes, people are listening. They appreciate your content. I am using you, in spite of the times you get frustrated or overwhelmed."<br />
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Because God knows I've been frustrated and overwhelmed at times.<br />
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Yet, every time I question this path, every time I'm so tired I wonder how long I can last at this pace, every time I inwardly grind my teeth -- God reminds me that He put me here on purpose and this <i>is </i>where He wants me to be.<br />
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Because I still find joy in the middle of the craziness and the rough road of transition.<br />
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My heart lifts with hope every time a listener tells us how much they enjoy our show, or that they heard something they needed at just the right time, or that somehow they discovered <a href="http://adventistradio.london/" target="_blank">Adventist Radio London </a>and they keep coming back.<br />
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I feel reassured by unexpected affirmation through unexpected channels.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t52e-FOlESo/Ww2LqKg-OYI/AAAAAAAAA5M/4McKp6glnsYpC5si8WleHpC1KPUQhOF-wCLcBGAs/s1600/32709189_1710227682418677_6435496558724120576_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t52e-FOlESo/Ww2LqKg-OYI/AAAAAAAAA5M/4McKp6glnsYpC5si8WleHpC1KPUQhOF-wCLcBGAs/s400/32709189_1710227682418677_6435496558724120576_o.jpg" width="320" /></a>I am passionate about hearing people's stories of courage, faith, adventure, miracles, love, and struggle, whether we're interviewing <a href="http://sarahteibo.co.uk/" target="_blank">recording artists</a> or the girl next door. I delight in digging into deep and meaningful content and conversations. I am touched when tears are shed in our studio as our guests recount their hardest or most beautiful life experiences and moments with God.<br />
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Besides, God is challenging my perspective on success. Typically, Christians love to talk about the parables of the lost sheep or the lost coin -- how God goes out looking for that one estranged person He loves. We dwell on how Jesus would have sacrificed Himself for just one person.<br />
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Then, how do we often go and measure success? By numbers. Engagement, hits, likes, views, listeners, baptisms.<br />
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Instead, God has been asking me to value the one. Just like He does.<br />
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It's not all about numbers.<br />
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It's about that one person who was meant to hear me today, whether or not they let me know how it affected them. It's about that one person who was inspired by something we shared. It's about that one person who looks at God and faith a little differently because of the stories we pass on.<br />
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That's what keeps me going.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"With so much going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for Him is a waste of time or effort." (1 Cor 15:58 The Message)</b></span></blockquote>
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-62542251542435575192018-01-22T15:58:00.000-05:002018-01-22T15:58:00.754-05:00Plot Twist!I needed a change. After seven years of teaching, on and off, I wasn't sure that I wanted to continue.<br />
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Perhaps it was a temporary dissatisfaction, and someday I would want to teach again with renewed passion. Perhaps it was just emotional fatigue from a hard, uncertain year. But right now, I didn't want to teach. Over several months, the feeling grew and grew that I simply had to find something else to do.<br />
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What did I actually love about teaching? Creativity, facilitating learning, and my students. I had to admit that I didn't really like anything else about teaching and its accompanying lifestyle. Perhaps I could find another job that would embrace the core things I loved, without actually being a teacher.<br />
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I began to pray, "God, what am I supposed to do? I need a break from the classroom. I want to do something more with my love for reading and writing and thinking, with creativity. But I feel it needs to look different from regular teaching."<br />
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One day, out of the blue, I was called for an informal chat with a couple of directors in an organization where I'd been doing some freelance proofreading work. "Have you ever thought about changing careers?" they asked me. "Would that be something you'd be willing to consider?"<br />
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<i>That's interesting timing, </i>I thought.<br />
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Five months later, I joined Adventist Radio London as a producer and presenter. (Watch this space as we begin to develop our content and bring it to air!) I just got back from a team training weekend with a BBC professional. I'm still testing out how "broadcaster" instead of "English teacher" feels on my tongue. I'm a little overwhelmed, but genuinely happy.<br />
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It's been an interesting emotional journey, transitioning to a new career. I actually felt guilty, for a while. I'd spent years studying English Education and then Applied Linguistics. Had I wasted all that time? Had I wasted people's investment in me? Wasted their money that went into scholarships and other support that had enabled me to get my degrees?<br />
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But one day I had an "aha" moment. Perhaps it sounds obvious, but it really <i>clicked</i> for me:<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">The foundational commitment of my life, as a Christian, is to God. Not to one career path. Not to one country. Not to one organization. To God. </span><br />
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He has promised to guide me, and as I learn to listen to Him better, I simply follow where He leads. I don't have to feel unnecessary guilt. I don't need my every move to make sense to everyone else (or to me) at first. He loves me, He is leading me, He is working things out for my good, and I can rest in that. That is immensely freeing!<br />
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Besides, nothing is wasted with Him. All my past experience prepares me for my future, even if that future doesn't look quite like I'd imagined.<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OVBCVxT5qHM/WmZK-4g-UXI/AAAAAAAAA2I/e7u-gmMsBUw9ncZaNy0jfDkDqHqJun55gCLcBGAs/s1600/unqualified.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="736" height="316" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OVBCVxT5qHM/WmZK-4g-UXI/AAAAAAAAA2I/e7u-gmMsBUw9ncZaNy0jfDkDqHqJun55gCLcBGAs/s320/unqualified.jpg" width="320" /></a>God is a God of abundance. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A20&version=NLT" target="_blank">He goes beyond what we ask or imagine.</a> And I really do think He has a sense of humor! I wanted a job that could use and develop my creative skills, but I didn't expect it would look like radio. It kinda feels like God said, "You want creativity? Excellent! Sure! Here's creativity on the next level! You'll be swimming in it! I'm so excited you asked!"<br />
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I will be doing all the things I love. I will also be doing some things that are completely new to me. I can already see areas in which this job will stretch and grow me, both personally and professionally.<br />
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I do get moments when the new direction, with all its accompanying transition, is a little bit scary. When it feels like God has given me a little bit too much "abundance," perhaps. I know my team and I are facing a challenge.<br />
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But with God leading us, we will be OK.<br />
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Maybe one day I will go back to teaching, but right now I'm preparing to embrace broadcast journalism. And I'm happy. It's one more exciting plot twist in my story, and I know the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Go_opwkNN8" target="_blank">Author of Life</a> has a great ending in mind.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-82h4GrRMrp8/WmZKwYd1zZI/AAAAAAAAA2E/3lBdFZhhzzkgzLcgAh370qJH3vFWGwUBACLcBGAs/s1600/adventure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="705" data-original-width="564" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-82h4GrRMrp8/WmZKwYd1zZI/AAAAAAAAA2E/3lBdFZhhzzkgzLcgAh370qJH3vFWGwUBACLcBGAs/s320/adventure.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"God knows where and how to take you. The author of life tells beautiful stories."<br />Lyrics from the song "Autor da Vida" by Vocal Livre<br /></td></tr>
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Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-88940633174493962062018-01-16T15:13:00.000-05:002018-01-16T15:13:33.735-05:00God Can't Do That<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hf1_H8hbbSg/Wl4HhvXr2OI/AAAAAAAAA0g/8jjzXJrUeEsf9zcMfNLYTeq-FRyLX3roACLcBGAs/s1600/stress.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="764" data-original-width="503" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hf1_H8hbbSg/Wl4HhvXr2OI/AAAAAAAAA0g/8jjzXJrUeEsf9zcMfNLYTeq-FRyLX3roACLcBGAs/s400/stress.jpg" width="262" /></a><span class="text"><span style="background: white;">It was one of those times when everything seems
to go wrong at once. A dwindling bank balance, broken or strained relationships, and
dissatisfaction at work, among other things, had left me wondering about my
future and struggling with discouragement, stress, and anxiety. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: white;">I would try to muster up my soul by
reminding myself of encouraging quotes. “We have nothing to fear for the future
unless we forget God’s leading in our past,” I would whisper to myself,
paraphrasing a quote by Ellen White</span><span style="background-color: white;">. The trouble was, although I sometimes felt
my hope rising, and I did remember episodes of God’s guidance in my life, I
still often dipped into worry and pessimism about my future. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><b><span style="background: white;">What
God Can’t Do<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">One morning, I was listening to the Psalms
during my hair and make-up routine, zoning out a little from one of <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+78&version=NLT" target="_blank">Asaph’s poetic renditions</a> of the Exodus story. Suddenly, the words grabbed my attention
and seared into my consciousness:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #990000;"><span class="text"><span style="background: white;">“God can’t give us food in the wilderness.
Yes, he can strike a rock so water gushes out, but he can’t give his p</span></span><span style="background-color: white;">eople
bread and meat.” (From Psalm 78:</span><span style="background-color: white;">19-20)</span></span></blockquote>
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<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><i><span style="background: white;">I’m
like that. That’s how I think. </span></i><span style="background: white;">With a start, I realized that the doubts
of the Israelites echoed my own anxieties. The Israelites certainly remembered
God’s miraculous provision in their past, but now they were faced with a
different scenario, and they didn’t believe he could deal with it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">How many times do we slip, almost
unconsciously, into the same way of thinking? God indeed might have been able
to do <i>this, </i>but he can’t do <i>that.</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: #990000;">“Yes, he can provide sponsors for my
missionary trip, but he can’t give me the money for my bills this month.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: #990000;">“Yes, he can help me study for this test,
but he can’t lead me to the right job, especially in today’s market.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: #990000;">“Yes, he can give me wisdom in my career
move, but he can’t help my relationships.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">I listened as the Psalm went on to
describe God’s frustration at the Israelites because they <span style="color: #990000;">“did not believe God
or trust him to take care of them,”</span> and how, <span style="color: #990000;">“despite his wonders, they refused
to trust him.”</span> (vv. 22 and 32)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">“I don’t want to be like that,” I breathed
to God. “Help me to trust you more!”<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><b><span style="background: white;">How
I View God<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">What lies at the heart of my inclination
to worry? <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t8NODbu7cKk/Wl5X01lfvTI/AAAAAAAAA0w/U6JZxgfHHAMBJitGjsWmOF09ReZEJRhYQCLcBGAs/s1600/At%2BJesus%2BFeet%2BNathan%2BGreene.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t8NODbu7cKk/Wl5X01lfvTI/AAAAAAAAA0w/U6JZxgfHHAMBJitGjsWmOF09ReZEJRhYQCLcBGAs/s320/At%2BJesus%2BFeet%2BNathan%2BGreene.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary."<br />
(At Jesus Feet by Nathan Greene) </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">I have realized that my anxieties tend to spring
from a subconscious belief that <i>I </i>have
to make things happen. That all my happiness and success and getting the best out
of life is down to me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">Of course, it's not that I have no role to play at all. I have power to choose and to act. But why the attitude that "it's <i>all </i>on me; I'm in this alone?"</span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">I was shocked when I first understood what
a practically godless approach to life this attitude signified—or at least an
approach that acknowledged God’s existence but assigned him a somewhat impotent
or uncaring character. Did I really think of him as so small and so distant?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: #990000;">My view of God is the foundation for
everything else in my life. </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">When I believe that I am entirely
responsible for taking care of myself and making things happen, when I am living purely out of self-reliance and leaning on my own understanding (see Proverbs 3:5-6),
it is a very hard thing to “be still, and know that [he] is God” (Psalm 46:10). It is hard to trust. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">Yet, when I understand more fully the incredible
depth of the love God has for me—and when I really believe he loves me <i>that much</i>—my heart responds more readily
with trust. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: white;">In so many ways, our view of God and our
view of life revolves around grasping this love, being “rooted and grounded” in
it, as Paul describes in<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A17&version=NKJV" target="_blank"> Ephesians 3:17.</a> It changes everything. It is changing
my typically-fearful reactions to the challenges of life. </span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">I resonate with a prayer John Eldredge shares
in his book <i>Walking with God: </i></span></span></div>
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<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><span style="color: #990000;">“Jesus,
I ask that your love would heal that part of me that feels I must make it
happen, that all things—especially my happiness—are up to me… And, Jesus, I
repent of that part of me that needs to make things happen. I transfer my trust
from my ability to make things happen to your love and goodness.” (pp. 103-104)</span></span></span></blockquote>
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><b><span style="background: white;">Yes,
He Can<br /><br /><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2HgzW5mE5yA/Wl5aS76yuNI/AAAAAAAAA08/IZYtmc0BSb0guxh0-gCdkHDQVQyttsAHACLcBGAs/s1600/gods-daisy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1245" data-original-width="1279" height="308" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2HgzW5mE5yA/Wl5aS76yuNI/AAAAAAAAA08/IZYtmc0BSb0guxh0-gCdkHDQVQyttsAHACLcBGAs/s320/gods-daisy.jpg" width="320" /></a><span class="text"><span style="background: white;">Not every problem I have wept or worried
over has been fully solved yet. But God has been working with me patiently to
show me just how creative he can be in addressing my issues. He reminds me
constantly, in all kinds of little ways, of the committed, personal love he has
for me. </span></span><br />
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: white;">And every day I have the choice of whether I will trust him in a new area,
or whether I will respond negatively like the Israelites in the Psalm.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">Are you facing a situation in your life where you just don't know how God is going to come through for you this time? What are you thinking God can't do?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="vertical-align: baseline;">
<span class="text"><span style="background: white;">Trust him. He can do that, too.</span></span></div>
Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-57714267141504895902018-01-09T15:47:00.000-05:002018-01-09T15:47:20.374-05:00And You Will Finally Know MeDo you ever wish God would write His messages to you in flaming letters in the sky? Let you know His will through a booming, unmissable voice? Me too.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The same is true for our conversations with God.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
This past year has been a journey for me in learning to listen to God. The good news is that He <i>is </i>speaking, and when He wants you to <i>get </i>something, He is persistent -- even if you don't see flaming letters or burning bushes. And you can learn how to hear Him better.<br />
<br />
I've recently been soaking in the book <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Discerning-Voice-God-Priscilla-Shirer/dp/0802450121/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1515528301&sr=8-1&keywords=discerning+the+voice+of+god+priscilla+shirer" target="_blank">"Discerning the Voice of God,"</a> and today I read a brilliant chapter on God's persistence in getting His message across and how He confirms His message in different ways.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"When God has a message for you, He is persistent... When God speaks to you by the Holy Spirit within and also confirms it by other means from without, then be on the lookout for His directions. If you notice a consistent message confirmed through the leading of the Holy Spirit, the Scripture, your circumstances, and other people, pay close attention. God is repeating Himself to make sure you get the message." (p. 78)</span></blockquote>
I put the book down as I sat curled up on the sofa, wrapped in my fluffy white blanket, lost in thought. This chapter confirmed so much of my experience with God. I took out my journal, and asked myself, "What have been the persistent, 'thematic,' corroborated messages over the past year?"<br />
<br />
I could think of several. God had certainly spoken often. Thematically. Persistently. Through multiple avenues.<br />
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This journey of deeper friendship with Him had been sparked in January 2017, in the midst of a difficult season, when God had very clearly spoken to me from a text in <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+2%3A14-16&version=NLT" target="_blank">Hosea</a>.<br />
<br />
One of His messages, oft-confirmed, had been about <span style="color: #990000;">His desire for increased intimacy</span> -- about His leading and speaking, which of course necessitated me learning to be still and listen. "I believe this journey is something He wants me to continue this year," I wrote in my journal.<br />
<br />
Another message had been about <span style="color: #990000;">hope and restoration</span>. "That could tie into this year's possible theme of newness," I wrote. (The concept expressed in <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+43%3A18-19&version=NLT" target="_blank">Isaiah 43:18-19</a> keeps coming up!)<br />
<br />
It's tempting to think of restoration as simply God giving you back something you gave up or lost. But that's not necessarily the whole picture. "God goes one better than that," I continued to journal. "Restoration, whatever that means for a specific area of your life, is about... better than before. The way God had in mind from the beginning. Restoration is about healing. Beauty. Fulfillment. 'Restoring the years the locust has eaten' (Joel 2:25) and being in a better place for it."<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I like to think of God's art of restoration being something like the Japanese art of kintsugi -- repairing something broken with gold to make it even more beautiful and precious.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
True, the passage in Hosea talks about the things taken away being returned (pictured as vineyards in the text). It's easy to focus on the idea of the gifts and restoration that God has in store for the right time. But the heart of the passage is so much deeper than that.<br />
<br />
The heart of the passage is all about the intimacy with God that is the surprising product of the wilderness experience.<br />
<br />
As I wrote about <a href="https://beautifulmoments-lynette.blogspot.co.uk/2017/02/" target="_blank">last year,</a> Hosea 2:16 talks about how we will come to call God our husband instead of our master. Whatever your gender, that is a picture of ever-increasing love and intimacy. I have certainly tasted that this year.<br />
<br />
Today, after I finished the chapter in "Discerning the Voice of God," I went back to Hosea 2 and read a little further on. Although God's metaphorical language speaks as to a woman, again, the message is one of the ultimate, deepest, most permanent commitment, whatever your gender.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know Me..." (vv19-20)</span></blockquote>
I could just hear the longing of God's heart in that. "And you will finally know Me."<br />
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<br />
<i>That </i>is the bigger purpose, the greater gift.<br />
<br />
Maybe you've been in the wilderness. Maybe you're still in the middle of it, or maybe you're starting to walk through your "door of hope" (Hosea 2:15) and you're looking forward to what God will do and what He will restore.<br />
<br />
But the return of the "vineyards," however nice that may be, is secondary to the gift of God Himself.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990000;">And He -- with all He is and all that means -- gives Himself to you... to me... forever.</span> 💗<br />
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-7870625880567560402017-12-13T12:23:00.003-05:002017-12-13T12:23:48.289-05:00Ho Ho NoI am a fan of Grumpy Cat.<br />
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So as soon as I saw the Grumpy Cat T-shirt, I knew I had to buy it for my Christmas party; wearing it would be the perfect expression of my paradoxical attitude to Christmas.<br />
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On one hand, I do enjoy Christmas (when it's relegated to its proper month -- December). The food. The beauty of the lights and decorations and (if we're lucky) snow. The story. The pageantry of a Festival of Lessons and Carols in a cathedral. The music (again, only when it's played in December, as is right and fitting). The chance to dress up. The sense of goodwill and cheer and warm fuzzies. Oh, and the food.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Mmhm, those classy Christmas feels.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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On the other hand, there is something of a Grinch or a Grumpy Cat in me. (Some would say that is reflected in my "December only!" attitude. But actually I would argue that this is because<i> </i>Christmas loses its special-ness if it's dragged out from October or November. Therefore, keeping Christmas in December guards its sense of beauty and sacredness. Just me? Anyway... Maybe it's a personality thing?)<br />
<br />
The awful cheesy Christmas movies. Those inquires about your relationship status from relatives worried about why you aren't married yet and the state of your womb. The shopping in uncomfortably crowded stores. The stress. The bank balance. The inability to feel the magic or warm fuzzies of your childhood. (Certain friends would add "tearing ligaments slipping on ice" and "getting mild concussion from falling snow-laden branches" to this list.)<br />
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Do you find the Christmas spirit a little more elusive for you now, as well? Sometimes I wonder why that is. Perhaps we all have different answers.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">The four candles represent hope, peace,<br />
love, and joy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
A potential reason, for me, struck me today as I was researching articles for a Christmas-themed radio broadcast. I suddenly realized that somewhere along the way, I have stopped celebrating Advent.<br />
<br />
Advent (meaning "coming") is the period of four weeks of expectation leading up to Christmas. Although not every denomination emphasizes its celebration, for Christians Advent is traditionally a time to prepare our hearts for the season, to think about the deeper meaning of Christmas beyond consumerism and sentiment.<br />
<br />
As a child, I remember the excitement of opening the windows of my little Advent calendar every day. We had a family Advent calendar too, that my mother had made, with a special story or activity for each day of December.<br />
<br />
Then we kids grew up and moved away, and I stopped thinking about Advent. Certainly when I was in college, I had a million things to do and exams to take in the run-up to Christmas, and that took priority in my thoughts. Now, I am busy with work and various other projects and seem to stumble upon Christmas at the last moment. "Oh, is that the date?!" A few days ago, my mother asked me if I had come across any nice Advent readings I might share to welcome the Sabbath. "I don't read anything for Advent," I told her. And then I felt a tiny bit bad.<br />
<br />
Pondering the meaning of the holiday isn't high on my to-do list. I don't try to make the season so special any more. Isn't this simply practical, adult life?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Life. Adulting. Bah humbug!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Perhaps that is a loss. Perhaps there would be merit in celebrating Advent again somehow. To take that time to slow down and genuinely think, <span style="color: #990000;">"What are the deeper, spiritual meanings and lessons of this season? Who is Jesus? What does it mean to welcome <i>Immanuel </i>-- God with us, God with me?"</span><br />
<br />
Perhaps we can't expect the magic of Christmas just to "happen" anymore. Perhaps Christmas, like a good relationship, a passion project, or anything worthwhile (as the saying goes), takes some work. But not simply the kind of work in putting up a tree or throwing a Christmas party. Some heart work.<br />
<br />
Somehow, I think that real Christmas spirit doesn't have to be showy or sickeningly sentimental. Perhaps it can be a quiet, simple sense of peace, gratitude, hope, and joy. <br />
<br />
So, how will you fight for joy, not just in this Christmas season but in your life? How can you recover a sense of wonder and thankfulness, and your <i>heart</i>?<br />
<br />
After all, even the Grinch recovers his heart for Christmas in the end.<br />
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Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-67571249404526644832017-11-14T17:59:00.000-05:002017-11-14T18:01:50.542-05:00Disarming FearEver have those nights when you struggle to sleep because your brain just won't shut up? Me too.<br />
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I recently went through a stretch of tearful evenings because, as I lay in the dark willing myself to just go to sleep, my imagination would run riot. I would visualize real concerns. Bad memories. Imaginary scenarios and conversations that may never happen in real life, but which nonetheless filled me with pain or anger or stress as I played them out in my mind. Negative self-talk. Future fears. My mind seemed to snatch up each bleak thought, eager to obsess over it.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rather like this.</td></tr>
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Some nights I would struggle against the tide of negativity, praying for relief. Some nights I would be frustrated that I still felt tense and miserable even after presenting my woes to God. Some nights I would just give in to the waves of unhappiness.<br />
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Lately, though, God has been calling to my attention to how He wants to help me through adjusting the focus and framework of my prayers. Thus I will be better equipped to disarm my lingering fears.<br />
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Often, the focus of my petitions tends to be on my issues, frustrations, and fears -- or, at least, those are the emotions prompting a large number of prayers. This is not bad per se. We are told to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+62%3A8&version=NKJV" target="_blank">pour out our hearts</a> to God, to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Pet+5%3A7&version=PHILLIPS" target="_blank">roll our cares onto Him</a>, and to <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+6%3A18&version=NIV" target="_blank">pray all kinds of prayers</a>. The Psalms are replete with desperate cries to God about how much life sucks, about deepening depression, and about a desire to get out of the mire (see <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+69&version=NLT" target="_blank">Psalm 69</a> for one example).<br />
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However, darkness or desperation isn't where our prayers are supposed to linger long-term.<br />
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Three points from my recent reading, the book <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Only-God-Would-Answer-Knock/dp/0891097120/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1510684115&sr=8-2&keywords=if+only+god+would+answer&dpID=51O4Kqdw46L&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch" target="_blank">"If Only God Would Answer"</a> by Steven Mosley, have highlighted what the problem is in my case. I have a sneaking feeling many of us may share a similar issue.<br />
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<b><u>Tossed About</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
The book of <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James+1%3A6-8&version=NLT" target="_blank">James</a> talks about the prayers of the double-minded person who is tossed about like a wave. Mosley comments, "A double-minded person can ask for one thing while thinking of something else quite the opposite." (p. 53) I can be like that. I can struggle to find a solid footing and to pray with real trust, particularly when allowing myself to be tossed about and drowned by ever-changing emotions that may or may not let me <i>feel </i>strength and faith.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-djdOYwHmgOw/Wgs7grejCjI/AAAAAAAAAwc/yl3Y-WJ9v1sCxlMoJdGHseorUbrSkvySwCEwYBhgL/s1600/real-catherine-marshall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1232" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-djdOYwHmgOw/Wgs7grejCjI/AAAAAAAAAwc/yl3Y-WJ9v1sCxlMoJdGHseorUbrSkvySwCEwYBhgL/s320/real-catherine-marshall.jpg" width="246" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Catherine Marshall, one of my<br />
favourite authors.</td></tr>
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In her beautiful memoir <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Meeting-God-at-Every-Turn/dp/0340329858/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1510684155&sr=1-1&keywords=meeting+god+at+every+turn" target="_blank">"Meeting God at Every Turn,"</a> writer Catherine Marshall shares a story of her loneliness after the death of her first husband, U.S. Senate Chaplain Peter Marshall. Eventually, she received assurance from God that remarriage was His idea for her, and noted in her journal that she accepted this gift with gratitude and "all [she had] to do is give thanks to God that the matter is settled and relax until God's time comes..." (p. 159). This idea jumped off the page and burned into my consciousness. What a contrast to my usual mode of operation! Certainly some of my anxieties spring from a desire to be in control and a struggle to simply be thankful for what God <i>is </i>giving, and to relax in the waiting, whatever I am waiting for.<br />
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After all, we have the clear and startling promise that if we ask anything from God that is in line with His will, we can be sure of receiving it (see <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+5%3A14-15&version=NIV" target="_blank">1 John 5:14-15</a>). The Bible is full of promises and passages that show us the will of God, and we also have His Spirit's intimate guidance in our personal walk with Him, which can lead us to peace in knowing that He hears and answers our petitions.<br />
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In pondering all this, I felt God whispering to me, "Instead of being tossed about, you can learn to<i> </i>relax if you turn from focusing on your variable circumstances and emotions to thanking Me instead that I <i>have </i>heard you and that the answer will be realized at the right time."<br />
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<b><u>How Do I See God?</u></b><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b>
One of Mosley's chapters compared Bible passages about persistence in prayer. On one hand, we have parables and injunctions to keep praying and not give up. On the other hand, we have a warning against being like those who "think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again" (Matthew 6:7). Isn't this a bit of a contradiction?<br />
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Mosley points out that the passages are based on the same reasoning about the character of God. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+18%3A1-8&version=NIV" target="_blank">God the Judge</a> is more eager to dispense justice than any human official; <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matt+7%3A11&version=NIV" target="_blank">God the Father</a> is more willing to give good gifts to us than human parents are to their child; and, after the warning about <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matt+6%3A7-8&version=NIV" target="_blank">babbling</a>, Jesus says our Father knows our need before we ask.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Obviously there's a healthy kind of persistence and an unhealthy kind. The key difference relates to that common conclusion: God's generosity. Why we persist in prayer makes a big difference. The pagans Jesus mentioned as bad examples of prayer went on and on petitioning because they thought their god had to be talked into doing good; they assumed a certain quantity of prayer would create some kind of cosmic coercion, forcing their god's hand. In the back of their minds, they believed he was lazy or indifferent and had to be prodded into action." (p. 64)</span></blockquote>
When you pray, how do you see God? I know that sometimes my prayers are motivated more by this "pagan" mindset of seeing God as reluctant, distant, and needing coercion. Yet God is generous and eager and able, beyond what I can ask or imagine (see Ephesians <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+3%3A20&version=NIV" target="_blank">3:20</a> and Psalm <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+31%3A19&version=NLT" target="_blank">31:19</a>).<br />
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<u><b>Where Is My Focus?</b> </u><br />
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Another quote from Mosley resonated with me:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Make God bigger than your problems. Don't go on and on moaning about how terrible your situation is and begging God for His help. Instead go on and on about how wonderful God is and express confidence in His ability to help you. This is a healthy, logical perspective in prayer." (p. 58) </span></blockquote>
Even the most raw Psalms often turn in the end to praise, thankfulness, and hope. They affirm God's unfailing love and faithfulness. For example, after honestly declaring his deep discouragement and grief, the poet says to himself, "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again -- my Saviour and my God!" (Psalm 42:11)<br />
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<b><u>Disarming Fear</u></b><br />
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In order to help me disarm my fears, then, I have sensed God calling me not merely to be honest about my dark emotions, but to switch the focus of my prayers:<br />
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From fear to His faithfulness.<br />
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From the problem to His power and love.<br />
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From begging based on dread and a desire to control and coerce, to thankfulness for God's heart of abundance, His willingness to give good gifts, and the answers He has already given.<br />
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From sadness and frustration to hope.<br />
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From my circumstances to my God.<br />
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From the temporary to the eternal.<br />
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From my feelings to truth.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Good ol' pity parties</td></tr>
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In short, to pray with much more praise and positivity, to "express hope, not just desperation." (Mosley, p. 70)<br />
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This won't always be easy. Old habits die hard. And honestly, there's part of me that likes to have the luxury of pity parties.<br />
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Also, the Enemy will want to keep me locked into fear and discouragement. He will use any opportunity to bring those pessimistic pictures into my mind.<br />
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But I am instructed to take every thought captive (<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Cor+10%3A5&version=NKJV" target="_blank">2 Corinthians 10:5</a>) and to "let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think" (Romans 12:2). When my imagination starts down those gloomy trails, instead of going along with it, I can examine the scenario to see what exactly scares or pains me -- and then disarm that thought, and infuse into that picture the power, presence, and love of God.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"You tend to project yourself mentally into the [future], and you visualize yourself coping badly in those times. What you are seeing is a false image, because it doesn't include Me... When a future-oriented worry assails you, capture it and disarm it by suffusing the Light of My Presence into that mental image. Say to yourself, 'Jesus will be with me then and there. With His help, I can cope!' Then come home to the present moment, where you can enjoy peace in My presence." (Jesus Calling, Nov 9)</span></blockquote>
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One of my favourite <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8TkUMJtK5k" target="_blank">songs</a> affirms, "I'm no longer a slave to fear...You drowned my fears in perfect love."<br />
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Thank you, Father. Your generous heart, your perfect love, is what I lean on.<br />
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-28914084068614675802017-10-26T16:38:00.001-04:002017-10-26T17:05:08.316-04:00Vulnerable<span style="color: #990000;">"You rarely let me into your internal world. I'd like to support you more, if you want, but in order to do that I need to be let in more and know you are hurting. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">I can't read between the lines very well. I'd give you more support if you told me in the moment, rather than finding out through your blog later. I don't always know what you need, because you so rarely ask for it."</span><br />
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Ouch. I had just finished a rant to one of my best friends, Andrea, venting slightly unfair grievances I had over certain friendships I felt were too one-sided and lacking in support. She'd given me some sympathetic but objective perspective, and then she called me out -- she was glad I was being open now, but generally I was reluctant to be vulnerable and ask for help.<br />
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<i>Dang, she's so right, </i>I thought. <i>Why am I like this?</i><br />
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Do you consider yourself the "strong one" in your relationships? Do you <span style="text-align: center;">feel the need to always wear a "calm and collected" mask? Do you, like me, resist showing vulnerability? Have you ever asked yourself why?</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PD2ii0Y0NFI/WfJEPVjI3FI/AAAAAAAAAwA/iK4Kht8q-TEmxLz5WVgFdMK1cx933-gfACLcBGAs/s1600/behind%2Ba%2Bmask.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="900" height="265" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PD2ii0Y0NFI/WfJEPVjI3FI/AAAAAAAAAwA/iK4Kht8q-TEmxLz5WVgFdMK1cx933-gfACLcBGAs/s400/behind%2Ba%2Bmask.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">By <a href="https://catliv.deviantart.com/art/hide-behind-a-mask-IV-187210592" target="_blank">Catliv</a></td></tr>
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For me, part of it is personality. "I am quite a stoic character," I acknowledged to Andrea. "I've always preferred to work through something quietly myself rather than 'making a fuss' -- which could be quite British, on reflection."<br />
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I can't blame my Britishness entirely, though, and personalities are molded by our experiences to some degree.<br />
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"Much of what we call our 'personalities' is actually the mosaic of our choices for self-protection plus our plan to get something of the love we were created for." Stasi Eldredge, Captivating</span></b></blockquote>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MKTLqnhQFQA/WfI63zRYPWI/AAAAAAAAAvo/cwqNTmxRWEUhceaObrkNlPEfBYt8Vo4lACEwYBhgL/s1600/don%2527t%2Bhurt%2Bme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MKTLqnhQFQA/WfI63zRYPWI/AAAAAAAAAvo/cwqNTmxRWEUhceaObrkNlPEfBYt8Vo4lACEwYBhgL/s320/don%2527t%2Bhurt%2Bme.jpg" width="237" /></a>My past plays a significant role in my reluctance to be vulnerable, as I imagine it does for you, particularly wounds received and agreements made during turbulent teenage years, and in unhappy romances. I remember resolving, at one point, never to show when I was upset because then people would know my weaknesses and know where to hurt me.<br />
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Moving around a lot had an impact, too. I never knew how long a friendship would last. Even now, I expect people to exit my life at some point, so as a self-protective measure I can tend to avoid deeper connection.<br />
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For the friendships I did have growing up, I often perceived myself to be cast in the role of the "strong one." From around 8 years old, I remember having a string of friendships in which I seemed to be the level-headed one while the other was falling to pieces. Sometimes others seemed so caught up in their own drama (which was sometimes truly traumatic) that they didn't seem interested or capable of supporting me in mine.<br />
<br />
Another factor, I realized, was my perfectionism. Trying to keep your best face forward and do everything possible to be good enough, to be worthy of love and acceptance, does not allow much room for anything that can be perceived as weakness.<br />
<br />
Besides, doesn't it feel somehow extremely humiliating to admit to needing help? It hurts the pride.<br />
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However, constantly trying to self-protect, to be self-sufficient, to be strong on our own, can be exhausting and demoralizing. And it sabotages us in the area we truly long for -- real connection. We need community. We need to let another person see our humanity, our struggles, our pain sometimes. (Men, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rotwI8lSyQo" target="_blank">you too</a>, not just women!)<br />
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"I still think there's merit in not always making a fuss, or in processing things yourself," I admitted to Andrea, "but I'm also coming to see there is value in vulnerability sometimes. That burdens don't always have to be borne alone. That sometimes people are safe enough to let them see behind the smile."<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">"True community is what we need the most and fear the most,"</span> I remember hearing once. (If only I could remember where.) This quote resonated with me then and resonates with me now. And true community involves giving <i>and </i>receiving.<br />
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<b>Caveat:</b> This does not mean you should start oversharing with all and sundry! It's important to establish healthy boundaries and find safe people. (There's lots of resources out there to help with this. Try <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454" target="_blank">Boundaries</a> or<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those/dp/0310210844/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NA9YNNWYPM8HZ4TMRG45" target="_blank"> Safe People</a> by Drs. Cloud and Townsend.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You don't need to be the mouse!</td></tr>
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">"Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." (Gal 6:2)</span></blockquote>
And what is the law of Christ? In a nutshell, as He explained it, <span style="color: #990000;">"You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind...and love your neighbor as you love yourself." </span><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matt+22%3A36-40&version=NLT" target="_blank">(See Matthew 22:36-40) </a><br />
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<b>So, based on my experience, what can I recommend if you see yourself as the "strong one?"</b><br />
<br />
Know there are people who want to support you and will love you even when they realize you're not perfect (hint: they already know that, and they're still by your side). Realize it's OK to need help. Try taking off the mask sometimes. Embrace healthy vulnerability, even if you have to take it slow.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>What do I recommend if you are the friend trying to help the "strong one?" (And this applies to you, <i>my</i> friend, reading this.)</b><br />
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Be a safe person. Build trust (and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewngFnXcqao&t=10s" target="_blank">realize that trust is built in the small moments</a>). Be patient, but don't be afraid to call them out gently sometimes. Ask them how they're really doing, and really listen. Show them, in whatever way they receive love best, that you genuinely care.<br />
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Ultimately, vulnerability is powerful. Vulnerability allows us to move towards the community, intimacy, and love that we all need. And I am learning this one tiny, trembling step at a time.<br />
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Brene Brown's stuff <3 p=""></3></div>
Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-50580929958447512502017-10-05T12:38:00.001-04:002017-10-12T05:32:27.271-04:00TrustWednesday evening I sat sobbing on my bed under a cloud of hopeless despondency. It was an outburst provoked by a picture and a message, and undoubtedly fuelled in part by floods of helpful hormones. There was a guest waiting downstairs, my mother was about to serve dinner, and here I was having a mini breakdown, hating myself for it, and throwing jaded, hurt-laden questions to the heavens. I sniffled my way to bed that night, feeling unreasonably despairing. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hkQ2CSFVvQI/WdZRMpCEufI/AAAAAAAAAtA/jDEWNLiXiTozS6v9fF5bo2DtpMYdyBCGwCLcBGAs/s1600/belle.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="500" height="160" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hkQ2CSFVvQI/WdZRMpCEufI/AAAAAAAAAtA/jDEWNLiXiTozS6v9fF5bo2DtpMYdyBCGwCLcBGAs/s320/belle.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Disney taught me the best way to express sadness is to throw yourself on the bed and cry dramatically."</td></tr>
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<br />
You know those moments when you realize God is really trying to get your attention? When something keeps coming up again and again and again?<br />
<br />
A particular verse had been appearing repeatedly, whether verbatim or simply in concept. Social media feeds. Messages from friends. Books. "Verse of the day" in my Bible app. The text was everywhere.<br />
<br />
It's a verse I could recite in my sleep, and perhaps for this reason I hadn't paid it much attention, but when it popped up <i>again </i>on Thursday morning, this time it spoke to my heart, which was still slightly fragile from the night before.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><b><br />"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."</b></span> <a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7pXCYSdsmes/WdZXHwJHM2I/AAAAAAAAAtQ/WDjC8wvHJJE4-yfA15DkFYxpviRHpyregCLcBGAs/s1600/DSC07422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><b style="color: #990000;">(Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT)</b></a></blockquote>
<br />
"OK, God, what are you saying with this repeated passage?" As I pondered the verse, journal and cup of tea in hand, two thoughts occurred to me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7pXCYSdsmes/WdZXHwJHM2I/AAAAAAAAAtc/YfeG1g9H4NcGfS_nj1uESpEogs4SO9XkgCEwYBhgL/s1600/DSC07422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7pXCYSdsmes/WdZXHwJHM2I/AAAAAAAAAtc/YfeG1g9H4NcGfS_nj1uESpEogs4SO9XkgCEwYBhgL/s320/DSC07422.JPG" width="320" /></a>First, this was God's encouragement to me. In my moments of discouragement, I had thought, "Can I really trust that God is guiding me?" It had been one of my tearful questions the night before. Now, I knew this verse was whispering an answer. I sensed God addressing my heart:<br />
<br />
"Haven't you been seeking my will? Haven't you been open to whatever that was, with all the honesty of your will you could muster, regardless of your feelings?"<br />
"Yes, I have."<br />
"Then I have honored that; you <i>can </i>trust that I am leading you. Stop second guessing all the time just because things aren't always going as you would like or expect! You are learning to listen to my voice, and you know that I am actually guiding you, and that it's not a product of your imagination. You <i>can </i>trust Me to direct you."<br />
<br />
Second, this verse was also a much-needed reminder <i>not</i> to rely on ("lean on," as some translations phrase it) my own understanding. I think that's a huge issue for many of us. It is for me. How easy it is to look at our lives sometimes and compare our current circumstances with how God has been leading or speaking to us -- or even just to look at one or the other without the comparison -- and think, "I don't understand!"<br />
<br />
Often, we're relying on what we think we know to try and figure things out.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #cc0000;">"The key to receiving answers to prayers for guidance is to let go of our constant attempt to 'figure things out.' Really, it is almost incessant; I will be in the midst of seeking the God of four hundred billion billion suns on some issue of guidance, and in the midst of asking him, I am thinking through the options, trying to figure it out as I pray." (John Eldredge in Moving Mountains)</span></blockquote>
<br />
Often we're relying on our own ken, our perspective, our interpretation of situations, even when we purport to be trusting in God. I know I do that, and I can get frustrated and discouraged as a result.<br />
<br />
In fact, the concept came up in my reading a couple of days ago: <span style="color: #990000;">"Learn also to wait on God for the unfolding of His will. Let God form your plans about everything in your mind and heart and then let Him execute them. Do not rely on any wisdom of your own. For many times His execution will seem so contradictory to the plan He gave. Simply listen, obey, and trust God even when it seems highest folly to do so." (Streams in the Desert)</span><br />
<br />
Learning not to lean on my own understanding is a struggle, but for every time I complain, "God, I don't understand why..." this verse reminds me of how God responds: Trust Me.<br />
"But in my perspective, this is..." Trust.<br />
"God, You said this, but it looks like..." Trust.<br />
"But so and so thinks...and they may have a point." Trust.<br />
"Are You <i>sure </i>I shouldn't/should do this?" Trust.<br />
<br />
As if I needed a little extra confirmation or emphasis to the message, the same thing has been circling round my head for the last couple of days in Portuguese. The lyrics of a song I hadn't heard in ages popped into my mind, and I pottered round the house humming to myself, "Confia, confia! [Trust, trust!]"<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3tL-jZ-ywhc/WdZcCsJQ7KI/AAAAAAAAAtw/FkzzHJ0k-BE8rq0udKUQwYfEKCxOW-SCwCLcBGAs/s1600/confia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="480" height="150" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3tL-jZ-ywhc/WdZcCsJQ7KI/AAAAAAAAAtw/FkzzHJ0k-BE8rq0udKUQwYfEKCxOW-SCwCLcBGAs/s200/confia.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a good song. </td></tr>
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Today I looked up all the lyrics to the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUoIHmrHE-I" target="_blank">song</a>. They say, in part,<br />
<br />
"Trust Him who has chosen you, in Him who has promised you, trust, trust, trust.<br />
Trust, even if there is no way out -- even if there is no more life -- even if everything went wrong -- trust.<br />
Trust, even if He is on the cross -- even if the light is buried -- trust, for on the third day death will not hold you.<br />
Trust, even if He is silent -- even if the world is over -- trust, He will arrive in time to bless you."<br />
<br />
What is the secret of being able to trust, of being sure that God is directing your path? There is a clue in verse 6: "Seek His will in all you do," or "In all your ways acknowledge Him..."<br />
<br />
This is not <i>only</i> about asking for guidance, though, or tagging on to your prayers the phrase, "Your will be done." The Hebrew word translated as "acknowledge" or "seek" is actually the word for <a href="http://biblehub.com/hebrew/3045.htm" target="_blank">"know."</a><br />
<br />
Thus, the verse could also be rendered something like this: "<i>Know</i> God in all of your ways, and He will direct your paths."<br />
<br />
It comes down to relationship. To friendship. God wants that personal, intimate connection with you. He wants you to know Him as He knows you. He wants to speak into your situations. It is possible.<br />
<br />
I love that reminder.<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HbzlNyIndF0/WdZZ2Y-fD4I/AAAAAAAAAtk/wX907tfEwEscpw0MVn159hxhppqQ-eh2wCLcBGAs/s1600/They%2Bway%2Bof%2Bjoy%2Bgreg%2Bolsen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="900" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HbzlNyIndF0/WdZZ2Y-fD4I/AAAAAAAAAtk/wX907tfEwEscpw0MVn159hxhppqQ-eh2wCLcBGAs/s400/They%2Bway%2Bof%2Bjoy%2Bgreg%2Bolsen.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"The Way of Joy" by Greg Olsen. I love what this picture expresses about friendship with God.</td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="color: #990000;">"If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me." (Jeremiah 29:13)</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #990000;">"I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me... My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me." (John 10: 14, 27)</span><br />
<br />
So here I am. The cloud of despair and of doubtful questioning has lifted this morning. I am reminded, and I am aiming to obey -- to trust God and not rely on my own understanding, to know Him in all of my ways, and to rest in the resulting surety that He <i>is </i>showing me the right paths to take. <br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E-oANPAPX7c/WdZXbVT_X7I/AAAAAAAAAtY/if4djqq3-94PA2A-hPRA2D8fZQFd6fM8wCEwYBhgL/s1600/3056443474_0e36599062_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="640" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E-oANPAPX7c/WdZXbVT_X7I/AAAAAAAAAtY/if4djqq3-94PA2A-hPRA2D8fZQFd6fM8wCEwYBhgL/s320/3056443474_0e36599062_z.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"4 Choices" by Adam DeClercq</td></tr>
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-27220217926980925902017-09-11T16:03:00.000-04:002017-09-11T16:03:56.473-04:00Guilt<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2ObdSQPdTIY/WbbpiN6gEpI/AAAAAAAAAss/Kifbp7LTV_8WLQ7QBZTCZLoVahMqVHUvQCEwYBhgL/s1600/worrier%2Bpose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2ObdSQPdTIY/WbbpiN6gEpI/AAAAAAAAAss/Kifbp7LTV_8WLQ7QBZTCZLoVahMqVHUvQCEwYBhgL/s320/worrier%2Bpose.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The soundtrack to young adult life...</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #990000;">"Have you got a full-time job yet?"</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;">"So, what are you doing now?"</span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;">"Have you got work lined up?"</span><br />
<br />
I squirm.<br />
<br />
The queries are always well-meant. Sometimes they're even thoughtless conversation starters. Yet I often have a sneaking suspicion that they are disguising the real questions: "What are you doing with your world-class degree? Why aren't you on a firm career path? What are you even doing with your life?!"<br />
<br />
In many ways, I have the ideal set-up. Part-time teacher, part-time proofreader. I often get to work from home. I get to see people, then I get to hide away for a while. I'm not overwhelmed by the aspects of the teacher lifestyle I hate -- the System, the inability to switch off, the planning and marking and paperwork that steals me away from other people and activities I love. I'm not a slave to the 9-5 (and overtime).<br />
<br />
The downside of part-time or freelance work, particularly at this stage of my career, is that it is not always consistent. It is also not expected, particularly of a 27-year-old with honors in her undergraduate and post-graduate degrees.<br />
<br />
(There is also the temptation of succumbing to the easy entertainment of Netflix and mindless Internet scrolling.)<br />
<br />
So I often feel guilty:<br />
<br />
I'm not making enough money.<br />
<br />
I'm a burden on my family (typical Millenial, having moved back home for financial reasons).<br />
<br />
I'm not doing enough. (I seem to have inherited a tendency, from all the women in my family, to have a compulsion to <i>do </i>things, and a sense of guilt when I am not <i>doing</i>. Although who defines what "doing things" actually means?)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BexX86T6Tdo/Wbbph_Lw0HI/AAAAAAAAAso/GMH0rDaRxz4QCGM_f0rNTAX9o0cjKJ6ywCEwYBhgL/s1600/taking%2Bbreaks.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="600" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BexX86T6Tdo/Wbbph_Lw0HI/AAAAAAAAAso/GMH0rDaRxz4QCGM_f0rNTAX9o0cjKJ6ywCEwYBhgL/s1600/taking%2Bbreaks.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I'm not doing enough!"</td></tr>
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I'm not where I should be in life.<br />
<br />
I'm not on a typical career path.<br />
<br />
(Does anyone else remember hearing Twenty-One Pilots' song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRviuL6vMY" target="_blank">"Stressed Out"</a> and really resonating with it? "Now they're laughing at our face, singing 'Wake up, you need to make money!'")<br />
<br />
It is a little disconcerting to find that you're not actually that passionate about what you thought was going to be your entire career path. (Although who knows, this may just be at this point in my life.)<br />
<br />
It does make me feel a touch guilty when I look at my teacher friends in good jobs right out of college, and I do not share their palpable excitement over classroom decoration, lesson plans, and other expectations and preparations for the school year.<br />
<br />
I do experience the odd twinge of self-reproach for wanting to continue to explore my options, to have my finger in more than one pie, instead of committing myself to a steady, regular teaching position.<br />
<br />
Yet, when society's ideas of success and (sometimes legitimate) concerns about cash flow attempt to crank the guilt higher, I try to remember the importance of staying true to myself and my values.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nTjj4JalcbU/Wbbphr40SxI/AAAAAAAAAsc/AP3N7a5kbQQnVwFSzK-SBmfVdmEZ-SEhgCEwYBhgL/s1600/courage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="612" data-original-width="792" height="247" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nTjj4JalcbU/Wbbphr40SxI/AAAAAAAAAsc/AP3N7a5kbQQnVwFSzK-SBmfVdmEZ-SEhgCEwYBhgL/s320/courage.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
There <i>are</i> reasons I have chosen to stay where I am for now. They are several and a little complex, but suffice it to say that I have always felt it was the right decision. It may not be typical. It may not be what's expected of me. But it feels right. It is true to what I want. And in spite of my bouts of guilt, I am content.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ekgR4ZMwOcw/Wbbphrc-bmI/AAAAAAAAAsg/WkMpB34Apr8YOGh0pyuedCR2lJouTBOwQCEwYBhgL/s1600/be%2Byourself.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1125" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ekgR4ZMwOcw/Wbbphrc-bmI/AAAAAAAAAsg/WkMpB34Apr8YOGh0pyuedCR2lJouTBOwQCEwYBhgL/s320/be%2Byourself.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Contentment counts for a lot.<br />
<br />
"What are you even doing with your life?!"<br />
<br />
I am being present for friends and family, building relationships with people I love.<br />
<br />
I am taking time to deal with personal growth and healing, instead of getting busy enough to ignore my issues. (And believe me, that takes a lot of time and energy!)<br />
<br />
I am expanding my professional and personal interests.<br />
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I am working with words, which I love.<br />
<br />
I am travelling.<br />
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I am attempting commitment to a church family and its accompanying responsibilities (which I haven't had to do for ten years!).<br />
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I am learning to appreciate beauty in little things and commonplace days.<br />
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I am trying to rediscover my creative side.<br />
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I am working on finding my passions and creating new goals.<br />
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Sometimes, when people's questions and my own comparisons make me feel guilty or inadequate, I have to remind myself that these are all worthwhile pursuits.<br />
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</div>
<br />
It's true that my entire life's path has been atypical. But it is <i>my </i>path.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MVODo_9JDI4/WbbphVg_e0I/AAAAAAAAAsY/k2o1bku7zZISzJx9Vl-8Ugaf8SxFPFj1ACEwYBhgL/s1600/different%2Bpath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="696" data-original-width="499" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MVODo_9JDI4/WbbphVg_e0I/AAAAAAAAAsY/k2o1bku7zZISzJx9Vl-8Ugaf8SxFPFj1ACEwYBhgL/s320/different%2Bpath.jpg" width="229" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It's true that at some point, probably next year, I will have to take a different path. I'm trying to decide what that path will look like and where it will take me. (Brazil? Asia? England still? Somewhere else entirely?! "The world's your oyster" presents too many options!) <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Perhaps the next path I take will again be somewhat unexpected. It may look unusual or even risky. But, as James van Praagh says,</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path, and and we will never be happy if we live someone else's idea of life."</b></span></blockquote>
<br />
Find your vision. Know your values. Stay true to yourself and your own path.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ze8sQ3dJ--4/WbbphskFJDI/AAAAAAAAAsk/OAGclFK72lER8Bu29x1wG-Zs-MmmTHacACEwYBhgL/s1600/path%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="300" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ze8sQ3dJ--4/WbbphskFJDI/AAAAAAAAAsk/OAGclFK72lER8Bu29x1wG-Zs-MmmTHacACEwYBhgL/s400/path%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favourite promises for contemplating my path.</td></tr>
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-732056964510023482017-08-30T16:06:00.002-04:002017-08-31T08:19:44.253-04:00Jealous<div style="text-align: right;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--sRsVQIWPgo/Waf-qckMLdI/AAAAAAAAAsE/cEA045eoREsg-2GtHSHssGTDwRjk45s7gCEwYBhgL/s1600/1940s%2Bjealousy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="681" data-original-width="501" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--sRsVQIWPgo/Waf-qckMLdI/AAAAAAAAAsE/cEA045eoREsg-2GtHSHssGTDwRjk45s7gCEwYBhgL/s320/1940s%2Bjealousy.jpg" width="234" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That other woman who seems so much better than you...</td></tr>
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I was blindingly jealous. She was my age, around 15 years old, and she commanded the hall with her surprisingly mature, velvet singing voice and a sense of poise I could only dream of having. She was beautiful. She wore beautiful clothes. She had curves.<br />
<br />
<br />
I wriggled in my seat, suddenly and intensely aware of how utterly unremarkable I was. She had everything I wished for. I, in contrast, had an average voice, was awkward and shy, and skinny and short-haired like a boy. And the floral skirt I had felt so elegant in only a few minutes before now felt like the charity-shop bargain it had been.<br />
<br />
Ah, comparison.<br />
<br />
Over the following years, I did not think of myself as an envious person. I could <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A15&version=ESV" target="_blank">"rejoice with those who rejoice."</a> With the arrival of Instagram, I wasn't someone who scrolled through friends' and strangers' pictures, feeling pangs of discontent and resentment over their travel, their families, their bodies, their lifestyles (although seriously, how do some of those 'yummy mummies' manage to look so put-together?!). I was satisfied with my life.<br />
<br />
But then I began to notice. There were pin-pricks of jealousy... <br />
<br />
... over someone's stylish home in the country.<br />
... over financially-stable friends who seemed secure and passionate in their work.<br />
...over whoever seemed to have their life figured out and be "ahead" of me.<br />
<br />
But the real straight-up stabbings of jealousy always came from situations that were relational.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CPmbH9iNC5A/WacTt6RebTI/AAAAAAAAArU/kXxPirgtckQKataqtee-CB3fUKFJfJsQACLcBGAs/s1600/201610-orig-jealousy-949x534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="949" height="225" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CPmbH9iNC5A/WacTt6RebTI/AAAAAAAAArU/kXxPirgtckQKataqtee-CB3fUKFJfJsQACLcBGAs/s400/201610-orig-jealousy-949x534.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Jealousy, </i>Tihamer Margitay, 1892</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span id="goog_1310162590"></span>
The woman getting the attention I wanted from that man. The excursion I wasn't invited on. The apparent intimacy I saw and longed for.<br />
<br />
The moment that really made me sit up was my reaction to a friend's news. While she bubbled with the joy of a dream come true, I found it difficult to wholeheartedly rejoice with her. "Warm fuzzies! I'm happy for you!" I messaged, and I was, but I was also jealous, and just a tiny bit bitter. <i>Why her and not me?</i><br />
<br />
"This is completely ridiculous," I wrote in my journal, kicking myself for what I was feeling. But I kept feeling it, surrendering to its dark tide as other events of that weekend dragged me deeper into resentment and envy.<br />
<br />
God had been whispering to my heart in recent months, with each of these events, and now He was saying again firmly: "This is an area that needs attention."<br />
<br />
One thing about Christian life is that while God is merciful, He is also insistent. After all, He wants to make us <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+1%3A4&version=MSG" target="_blank">"whole and holy" </a>for our own good (and let's be honest, everyone else's good as well). He fixes what is broken, and sometimes that means prompting us to take a hard, painful look at what is going on in our hearts.<br />
<br />
Maybe the roots of jealousy vary, differing based on our own histories and personalities. Perhaps there are also different kinds of jealousy.<br />
<br />
I realized that one root of my jealousy is simply stumbling into the trap of comparison. I've wrestled with that one <a href="http://beautifulmoments-lynette.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/behind.html" target="_blank">before</a>. Sometimes I still need to remind myself that my story is my own, and comparing it with others is pointless.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XGpNWX8vSDE/WacW-tC9DEI/AAAAAAAAAro/8aW9SClIUG8PAruRi3Arh262gXKTxZzPACLcBGAs/s1600/fruitless.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="480" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XGpNWX8vSDE/WacW-tC9DEI/AAAAAAAAAro/8aW9SClIUG8PAruRi3Arh262gXKTxZzPACLcBGAs/s320/fruitless.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm sorry, I had to. The pun!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
However, a truly impactful moment of revelation came with reading a simple line in a <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2017/07/how-to-heal-from-rejection-an-interview-with-lysa-terkeurst/?utm_source=bg&utm_medium=bghome&utm_campaign=blogimage&utm_source=bg&utm_medium=bghome&utm_campaign=blogbutton" target="_blank">blog</a>: <br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><i>"Live loved."</i></span></blockquote>
Whoa. How many of us "live loved?" Do we get up and go through our day resting in the surety that we are cherished? Too often, I don't.<br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
Part of the tangled roots of my jealousy may be related to the desire to feel valued and loved and <i>seen</i>, and from the wounds that came from the times when I felt I was not.<br />
<br />
It wouldn't surprise me. Those of you who know me, or who have read previous blogs, know this has always been a challenging issue for me, and one which God has been working on for a looong time. (Sometimes it feels like one step forward, three steps back.)<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Through jealousy, the deepest desires of our hearts are elicited and amplified. The fire of jealousy burns away the distractions of life's details to show us the things we treasure. This process of internal emotional suffering -- of jealousy most pointedly -- can help clarify and bring to the surface all that we would otherwise have kept hidden from God and even from ourselves." (</span><a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/hey-jealousy" target="_blank">Paul Maxwell</a><span style="color: #990000;">)</span></blockquote>
<br />
We all want to be loved. The heart is almost insatiable. But, as John Eldrege explains, we are "leaky vessels," feeling happy and loved one day and yet waking up the next day with a needy soul.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"'I keep telling him he's doing great. It doesn't seem to sink in.'</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">'I don't know how many times I've shown her I am here for her. It's like she doesn't believe me or something.'" </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Let's face it -- we are insatiable...The human heart has an infinite capacity for happiness and an unending need for love, because it is created for an infinite God who is unending love. The desperate turn is when we bring the aching abyss of our hearts to one another with the hope, the plea, 'Make me happy. Fill this ache.' And often out of love, we <i>do </i>try to make one another happy, and then we wonder why it never lasts. It can't be done. You will kill yourself trying." (John and Stasi Eldredge, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-War-John-Eldredge/dp/0340995513" target="_blank">Love & War</a> pp 66-68 ) </span></blockquote>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LqDVT99xfAQ/WacVzfDrysI/AAAAAAAAArg/bqWD_KXCXVgLIPJzUKJA7C8fzBIUNcIAgCLcBGAs/s1600/you%2Bmake%2Bme%2Bhappy%2Bmimi%2Band%2Beunace.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="498" data-original-width="1600" height="122" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LqDVT99xfAQ/WacVzfDrysI/AAAAAAAAArg/bqWD_KXCXVgLIPJzUKJA7C8fzBIUNcIAgCLcBGAs/s400/you%2Bmake%2Bme%2Bhappy%2Bmimi%2Band%2Beunace.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
This is not to negate good relationships. But people fail. We've all been on the giving and receiving ends of wounds. My jealous moments reflect the yearing for love in me that I cannot expect another human being to completely fill, in any relational capacity. The solution is another Source.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"The love of God is real, and personal, and available. He <i>wants </i>to be this for you." (John and Stasi Eldredge, Love & War p 69)</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"We are created to be the object of desire and affection of one who is totally and completely in love with us. And we are. An intimate relationship with Jesus is not only for other [people], for [people] who seem to have their acts together, who appear godly and whose nails are nicely shaped. It is for each and every one of us. God wants intimacy with <i>you.</i>" (Stasi Eldredge, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Captivating-Revised-John-Stasi-Eldredge/dp/1400202825/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1504115821&sr=1-2&keywords=captivating+john+%26+stasi+eldredge" target="_blank">Captivating</a> p 122) </span></blockquote>
This unchanging, soul-quenching love is what enables me to choose to "live loved." As Lysa TerKeurst <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2017/07/how-to-heal-from-rejection-an-interview-with-lysa-terkeurst/?utm_source=bg&utm_medium=bghome&utm_campaign=blogimage&utm_source=bg&utm_medium=bghome&utm_campaign=blogbutton" target="_blank">says</a> about the concept,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"It's settling in your soul, <i>I was created by a God who formed me because he so very much loved the thought of me. When I was nothing, he saw something and declared it good. Very good. And very loved. </i>This should be the genesis thought of every new day: <i>I am loved.</i>"</span></blockquote>
This is, bottom line, what is truest.<br />
<br />
Sure, sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes the greater truth may seem to be what he did to me, what she said about me, how they made me feel.<br />
<br />
Yet I am learning how to fight against such negative feelings and self-assessment -- the feeling of being permanently marked "Not ____ Enough" -- with <i>truth</i>.<br />
<br />
It's an exhausting fight, some days.<br />
<br />
But the truth sets you free. And the truth is, you are loved. I am loved.<br />
<br />
Little by little, I am learning that. The truth is beginning to feel more real in my life.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"And so we know and <i>rely on </i>the love God has for us." 1 John 4:16</span></blockquote>
I can live trusting that I am under the complete care of One who<br />
<br />
... knows me the best, and loves me the most.<br />
... sees all my faults, but doesn't replace me in His affections.<br />
... hears my thoughts and ideas all the time, and isn't tired of me.<br />
... promises to guide my life, working all things out for good.<br />
<br />
(See <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139&version=MSG" target="_blank">Psalm 139</a>, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+32%3A8&version=NLT" target="_blank">Psalm 32:8</a> and <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A28&version=VOICE" target="_blank">Romans 8:28</a>)<br />
<br />
I have a feeling that, within this context, if I start choosing to "live loved" more frequently, the green eyed monster will start to slink away, defeated.<br />
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</div>
Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-11743873788199415972017-07-11T13:48:00.000-04:002017-07-11T16:32:03.435-04:00Learning to Love <div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It is probably not the best policy to deal with sensitive issues
at 3am, after exactly 0 hours of sleep, quality or otherwise.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Mbatg00aCRA/WWUDOnsRNtI/AAAAAAAAAqA/fpu_E_9bXjYwy4vRVzdu8IIKjx_F4579ACLcBGAs/s1600/sleep%2Bking%2Ba.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1200" height="160" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Mbatg00aCRA/WWUDOnsRNtI/AAAAAAAAAqA/fpu_E_9bXjYwy4vRVzdu8IIKjx_F4579ACLcBGAs/s320/sleep%2Bking%2Ba.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RbYws0WxBZU/WWUDOqiQW8I/AAAAAAAAAp8/1rXZR8FcQ4U8TzRDLpXqTvd572c9WzalACLcBGAs/s1600/sleep%2Bking%2Bb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="624" data-original-width="1200" height="166" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RbYws0WxBZU/WWUDOqiQW8I/AAAAAAAAAp8/1rXZR8FcQ4U8TzRDLpXqTvd572c9WzalACLcBGAs/s320/sleep%2Bking%2Bb.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I totally feel this cartoon.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13.5pt;">I lay tangled in my sheets, bleary eyes staring at my phone screen,
trying to process the emotionally-charged conversation I was having with a
friend. Instead of being rational, or merciful, I became offended.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Over the next few days, the little devil on my shoulder maliciously fed me lots of examples of the failings of my friends. My
bad mood was not helped by work stress, consistent lack of sleep, and </span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">some other emotionally draining
experiences, and within my heart festered a growing resentment over feeling ill-used and neglected. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was feeling that many of my relationships were strained, and I was miserable.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Cue pity-party. How
could they?! Didn’t they know friendship is a two-way street?! Shouldn’t my
dear friends know me well enough, or care enough about me, to do something?! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I said nothing to the friends I inwardly resented. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When it comes to handling conflict, my default style is either A) ignore it, B) play the unaffected Ice
Queen who gets on with life as normal (it can’t hurt if you don’t have a heart),
or C) pull away. (This may have something to do with moving a lot. Regardless of the situation, something in my subconscious usually says, “At some point, I will leave you, or you will leave me, so why have
difficult conversations, why reveal my true self, why work to make things better?”)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MMQCD5YLXbA/WWUMQoT9QKI/AAAAAAAAAqc/gXIJ0AWSfck2-g7mKVZV1SEII1StdCt1QCEwYBhgL/s1600/elsa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MMQCD5YLXbA/WWUMQoT9QKI/AAAAAAAAAqc/gXIJ0AWSfck2-g7mKVZV1SEII1StdCt1QCEwYBhgL/s320/elsa.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I always related to Elsa. "Don't let them in,<br />
don't let them see..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have been making efforts to change this over the past year. There
may indeed be a time to be quiet and let it go, but there’s also a time to be
vulnerable and honest and try to improve a situation or deepen a relationship. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I did make things right with my friend. My rationality kicked back in eventually, I got some more sleep,
and I got over my mood. We had that honest,
vulnerable conversation at a saner hour of the day, and I realized something important in the process.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: inherit;"><b>"We are here to learn how to love." John
& Stasi Eldredge</b></span></span></blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Love isn’t simply about romance. Love is about friendship, too. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There seems to be a lot said about communication and "love languages" </span></span><span style="font-size: 18px;">(ways we communicate and feel love)</span><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13.5pt;">when it comes to building a relationship with a special someone. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13.5pt;">After all, especially
in the first stages of romance, it’s fun to find out and implement exactly what
makes the object of your affection feel appreciated. And it remains important over time.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But what about building strong friendships? Communication and love
languages are relevant here, too. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Do you know what makes your friends feel most loved? Do you know
how <i>you </i>give and receive love? (You
can find out for free <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/" target="_blank">here</a>. I always like free personality tests haha…)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wTqQVElzsY0/WWT_SQWOxTI/AAAAAAAAApk/K9fkCdsoal4qKbPOzOitTq7vbQ-X3JVzQCEwYBhgL/s1600/pooh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="465" data-original-width="540" height="343" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wTqQVElzsY0/WWT_SQWOxTI/AAAAAAAAApk/K9fkCdsoal4qKbPOzOitTq7vbQ-X3JVzQCEwYBhgL/s400/pooh.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Any guesses what their love languages are? :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">According to <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/5-Love-Languages-Singles-Gary-Chapman/0802414818/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1499786991&sr=8-4&keywords=the+five+love+languages" target="_blank">Gary Chapman</a>, we tend to give love in the way we
receive it. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For example, my two main "love languages" are
words of affirmation and quality time. I feel most loved when my friends talk with or write to me
(especially if they take time to write meaningful messages that go deeper than “Hey,
how’s life? I’m good here.”), affirm or compliment me, and when we go on adventures or even spend
time doing simple, everyday things together. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In turn, I tend to show my love to them by messaging, writing
cards, and trying to initiate hang-outs. That’s what makes me feel loved, so
why wouldn’t they feel loved, right? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Fair enough. But it’s so much more
meaningful to find out exactly what makes your friend feel
the most valued, and then do that. It becomes easier for them to “get” how much you care about them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Besides learning how to better show my appreciation to my friends, I'm also discovering that learning to love means learning how to communicate more effectively. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yhb0vpsfX8M/WWUEj9lZveI/AAAAAAAAAqM/ytNXZSY6gBkMsCGL-Rcwq4SQJoOICAOwwCLcBGAs/s1600/the%2Bcourse%2Bof%2Blove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="226" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yhb0vpsfX8M/WWUEj9lZveI/AAAAAAAAAqM/ytNXZSY6gBkMsCGL-Rcwq4SQJoOICAOwwCLcBGAs/s320/the%2Bcourse%2Bof%2Blove.jpg" width="209" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quote from this book, one of my recent favourites. <br />
Read it!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That may mean learning how to be a better listener. To find out where the other person is coming from. To realize how they handle conflict, and what affects their responses. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">"We too often act from scripts generated by the crises of long ago that we've all but consciously forgotten. We behave according to an archaic logic which now escapes us, following a meaning we can't properly lay bare to those we depend on most. We may struggle to know which period of our lives we are really in, with whom we are truly dealing and what sort of behaviour the person before us is rightfully owed. We are a little tricky to be around."</span></b> -- </span></span><b style="color: #cc0000; font-size: 18px;"><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Course-Love-Alain-Botton/dp/0241145473" target="_blank">Alain de Botton</a> </b></blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That may also mean being more willing to voice what is actually going on inside. To stop sweeping things under a rug. To share our feelings, respectfully but honestly, with safe people. To risk being seen.</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Friendships, as well as romance, take work. Or,
if you don’t like the term “work,” try substituting “effort” and “intentionality.”
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Learning how to love is not always easy. But g</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 13.5pt;">reat
friendships, like great romantic relationships, don’t just “happen.” </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">People don’t
magically find connections that stay close and amazing at all times, no matter
what. There are ebbs and flows to relationships, and for anything to grow, it needs nurturing.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Over the past few months, I have been challenged to learn how to love better. I have realized the importance of admitting that I am not the perfect friend, either. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Learning to love takes effort, intentionality, and humility... but I have a feeling it's worth it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: inherit;"><b>"We realize that life depends -- quite literally -- on the capacity for love... We learn the relief and privilege of being granted something more important to live for than ourselves." -- Alain de Botton</b></span></span></blockquote>
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-16661664874387636662017-03-12T16:45:00.001-04:002017-03-12T16:45:55.902-04:00Songbird Barbie Blues: Thoughts on Disappointment and GratefulnessWhen I was six years old, all I wanted for Christmas was Songbird Barbie. I saw her on the shelf of a department store and was immediately obsessed. I thought she was the most beautiful Barbie I had ever seen, and in my vivid imagination I made up stories featuring this singing princess, talking birds, and, of course, a few handsome princes for good measure. In my mind, Songbird Barbie lived. I made sure my parents knew how much I wanted her. When I went to bed on Christmas Eve, I dreamt about running to the tree the next morning and finally unwrapping my coveted doll. Reality, however, was sorely disappointing. I don't remember what I actually <i>did </i>receive that Christmas; I was so focused on what I <i>hadn't </i>been given that more than twenty years later, I still remember that I didn't get Songbird Barbie after all. Woe was me.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My six-year-old conception of real happiness</td></tr>
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As an adult, sometimes I've caught myself repeating this negative kind of focus. Sometimes I find myself so fixated on things that aren't working out the way I wanted, that I miss what I can be grateful for in the moment. I sigh over what I don't have and don't fully appreciate what I do have. I look so long at some loss that I forget to see gain. I focus on what God <i>isn't </i>giving rather than what He <i>is </i>giving. </div>
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John Eldredge tells a story of how he went on a wilderness hike to fish in a particular creek. As he hiked along the way, he fished in the beautiful Bear river.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"The Bear proved to be the treat of the day. By the time I reached the creek, I'd caught a half-dozen fish without much effort. And now that I'd reached my goal, it became obvious that the creek was unfishable." (<i>Walking with God</i>, p. 68)</span></blockquote>
John was as disappointed at not getting his creek as my six-year-old self had been about not getting her Barbie. Although the river had turned out to be everything he had hoped the creek would be -- "solitude, beauty, wild fish on a dry fly" -- he sulked the way back to his car because he hadn't got what he wanted. However, he draws a profound point from his experience.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Then I remembered something that God has been teaching me this summer--it's not what he isn't giving but what he <i>is </i>giving. We can get so locked onto what we don't have, what we think we want or need, that we miss the gifts God is giving." (<i>Ibid.</i>) </span></blockquote>
It's about what God <i>is </i>giving. This is something I have been learning, too.<br />
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Sometimes there's a reason we don't receive what we want, a reason that God is <i>not </i>giving us something, as I have discovered more keenly with jobs and relationships. Sometimes we can look back and honestly say, "Actually, it's good that didn't work out the way I thought I wanted it."<br />
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For example, recently I applied for a librarian/teaching job. I thought I really wanted it; the description sounded like it would suit me perfectly. I didn't get the job. I did cover the position until the new staff member arrived, however, and I was surprised to discover that I didn't like the role after all. It didn't fit me, and I felt a surge of relief when the cover period was over! It was one of those moments when I could look back and be glad something wasn't given to me.<br />
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At other times, we just have to wait for God to give us the something we've been asking for.<br />
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And sometimes God wants to give us something totally different.<br />
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Wherever we are in the process of asking, waiting, receiving, or not receiving, I'm learning that it's so important to focus on what God <i>is </i>giving. Every day there is something.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"He doesn't deny any good thing to those who live with integrity." (Psalm 84:11)</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"You feed them from the abundance of your own house, letting them drink from your river of delights." (Psalm 36:8)</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." (Matthew 7:11)</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Now to the God who can do so many awe-inspiring things, immeasurable things, things greater than we could ask or imagine..." (Ephesians 3:20)</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Pray, and keep praying. <i>Be alert and thankful </i>when you pray." (Colossians 4:2, emphasis mine) </span></blockquote>
The Bible is full of promises and verses about God's abundance and desire to give us good things. The trick, I guess, is trying to see things from His perspective, especially when it appears He isn't giving that good thing we want yet! I continue to learn to trust that He is working out the best for me, that He will give good things, and that He <i>is </i>giving good things.<br />
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Cultivating a habit of gratefulness, of paying attention to what He is giving, even in the small things, makes so much difference to your perspective and your emotions. (It may even make a difference to your <a href="http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/01/how-expressing-gratitude-change-your-brain.html" target="_blank">brain</a>!)<br />
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So, what <i>is </i>He giving you today?<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Father, forgive me. Forgive my demanding posture that life has to come to me on my terms. Oh Lord, how many gifts have I missed? The posture is ugly and narrow. I pray for a more gracious posture, to be open and grateful for what you are giving at any time." (<i>Walking with God</i>, p. 70)</span></blockquote>
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Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-78143726902523166612017-02-17T12:52:00.002-05:002017-02-17T12:52:32.985-05:00I Will Lead Her to the WildernessThe new year did not start very well for me.<br />
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One particularly difficult night, as I spilled my hurting soul onto the pages of my journal, I listened to one <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMQryX8j468&index=15&list=PL7w109VsiK1rmhZwZtGepHFZ9unFQnFtl" target="_blank">song</a> again and again. The chorus resounded, "I will trust you. All my hope is found in your love. I will trust you. My whole life is found in your love. And your goodness, kindness, faithfulness persist through the night." <i>Yes, </i>I thought. <i>In the end, God, it's all about your love, even through the night. Show me.</i><br />
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The next morning I woke up with these words running through my mind: "I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her." I knew it was from a Bible text; I had seen a friend post a Facebook status about it several weeks ago. A quick Google search gave me the verse.<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"Therefore, look! I will now allure her. I will make her go out to the wilderness, and I will speak to her heart. There I will restore her vineyards to her, and the Valley of Achor will become a doorway to hope." Hosea 2:14-15 (International Standard Version) </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><b><br /></b></span>
In that moment, as my heart responded to the text, I knew God was speaking to me.<br />
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I knew God had been leading me, but...I hadn't expected to be led into the wilderness. Such a barren, difficult environment is hardly somewhere you would expect to be allured to. Yet perhaps it was here that I would be in a better position for God to speak "tenderly" to me, or speak to my heart, as the translation above puts it.<br />
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The Hebrew word translated as "tenderly" (v 14) is literally <i>leb, </i>meaning "heart." God was saying he would have a heart-to-heart with me -- an intimate conversation from his heart to mine.<br />
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The Bible commentator Barne's notes on this passage threw some further beautiful light on the meaning of God speaking to the heart:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Literally, <i>on</i> her heart, making an impression on it, soothing it, in words which will dwell in it and rest there... God speaks to the heart so as to reach it, soften it, comfort it, tranquillise it, and, at the last, assure it...</span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"It is in solitude that he so speaks to the soul and is heard by her, warning, reproving, penetrating through every fold, until he reaches the very inmost heart and dwells there. And then he infuses hope, kindles love, enlightens faith, gives feelings of childlike trust, lifts the soul tremblingly to cleave to him whose voice she has heard within her.</span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Then his infinite Beauty touches her heart; his holiness, truth, mercy penetrate the soul; in silence and stillness the soul learns to know itself and God, to repent of its sins, to conquer self; to meditate on God."</span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
That, I knew, was what I wanted. To hear God more clearly, to have my walk with him be even more real and personal. At that moment I felt that although I wasn't quite sure how, I would get through the wilderness if I could hear him speak to my heart like that.<br />
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<b style="color: #990000;"> "...There I will restore her vineyards to her, and the Valley of Achor will become a doorway to hope."</b><br />
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Beyond the assurance that God would speak to me in my wilderness, this verse reminded me there was good to come. Although the desert place may be full of trouble and hardship (as the Hebrew name <i>Achor </i>signifies), God would somehow use it as a doorway to hope.<br />
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In that moment, my heart felt peace. Somehow, ultimately, everything would be OK.<br />
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In fact, reading the next verse showed me more of what God would be doing through this experience.<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"'At that time,' declares the Lord, 'you will address me as 'My Husband,' and you will no longer call me 'My Master.'" (Hosea 2:16)</b></span><br />
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Our wilderness experiences can lead us to a more intimate view of and relationship with God.<br />
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<i>I think that's beautiful, </i>I wrote in my journal, <i>because after all, that is what my whole life is about, and what I ultimately want most. </i><br />
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As I wrote down more of my reactions to the verses in Hosea, I looked them up in the original Hebrew (yeah, I'm geeky like that). I was struck to find that the word translated as "lead" or "make her go" into the wilderness can also be translated as "come" or "accompany."<br />
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<i>So God goes <u>with</u> me</i> <i>into the wilderness, </i>I noted. Then my eyes fell on the Bible texts printed at the bottom of the journal pages I had been filling:<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"May the God of peace Himself give you His peace at all times and in every situation." (2 Thess 3:16)</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts." (Col 3:15)</b></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #990000;">"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, <u>I will be with you.</u>" (Isaiah 43:1-2)</span></b><br />
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Oh, the kindness of God. He knew what I needed to hear.<br />
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I knew I was still going to struggle through a difficult time, through my own wilderness, but I wasn't going to be alone. God was up to something. God was speaking to me, and he would continue to speak to me. I simply had to wait.<br />
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The God who speaks his heart to me, who cares about the details of my personal life, and who relates to me as if I were the <a href="http://www.whiteestate.org/books/sc/sc11.html" target="_blank">only one on earth to have his watch-care</a>, feels exactly the same about you.<br />
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In the middle of your wilderness, he is with you. He wants to speak to your heart. He waits and works to turn your difficult place, your "valley of Achor," into a doorway of hope.<br />
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Trust him.<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"To all who grieve, He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory." (Isaiah 61:3)</b></span><i> </i> <br />
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<i><br /></i>Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-22777207716880054122016-10-11T16:32:00.000-04:002016-10-11T16:32:29.724-04:00"Release Them" -- Love, Fear, and Letting Go of the PastSummer. The beginning of Wedding Season, and I wasn't exactly in the best place to enjoy it.<br />
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"This weekend is a celebration of love," I wrote in my journal the night before a friend's wedding. "I'm in a particularly vulnerable place right now, since I've been reminded of my wounds and my agreements about love. Things look poised to press all those vulnerable places tomorrow. Protect me, God, from making agreements with lies; heal my heart."<br />
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I had been re-reading a new favourite book, <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Walking-God-How-Hear-Voice/dp/071808098X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476188745&sr=8-1&keywords=walking+with+god+john+eldredge" target="_blank">Walking with God</a> by John Eldredge, and in one chapter the author had talked about his agreements with love. His words resonated with me, dragging up memories from my past and hitting me in the chest with my own beliefs about love:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"<i>Have I made an agreement that I will never be loved?...</i>Agreements are really nasty and subtle things. They pin our hearts down, or shut them down by handing over to the enemy a sort of key to a certain room in our hearts...Think back over your story of love. In those moments when you were wounded, you were really vulnerable for agreements to come in. They come swiftly, imperceptibly, often as some message delivered with a wound...I came back to this issue with a question for myself: <i>What do I believe about love? That it never stays.</i>" (pp. 93-96)</span></blockquote>
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This chapter brought a startling wave of pain as I faced my own beliefs about love, and was an unexpected jolt to realizing my need of healing afresh.<br />
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God had been bringing up my issues with love and fear in various ways since the beginning of the year (as I also discuss <a href="http://beautifulmoments-lynette.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/hiding-from-love.html" target="_blank">here</a>), but I was a professional at pushing them to the back of my mind. I was always so busy.<br />
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Now, once more, I ignored my insecurities and anxieties and wounds, getting busy with finishing my Master's dissertation and having various mini existential crises. But God would not be put off so easily. He kept bringing up the issue in little ways. Again and again and again.<br />
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I kept being confronted with my fearfulness about love and life in general, and particularly at the end of the summer, some things began happening in my life and in my head that made me not want to be a slave to those fears any more.<br />
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Two or three weeks ago I bought an old <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Something-More-Catherine-Marshall/dp/0380006014/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1476189516&sr=8-1&keywords=something+more+catherine+marshall" target="_blank">book </a>about one woman's experience in her Christian life and her growing intimacy with God. (The pile of books I'm currently reading ever increases--one of the delights of finally having time to read for pleasure!)<br />
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Last week I had been reading a chapter on forgiveness and letting go, and now as I sat on my bedroom floor, cup of tea in hand, I started reading the next chapter, which just so happened to talk about fear.<br />
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And suddenly God said to me, not so much in a voice as in a strong impression, <span style="color: #990000;">"Release them. Release them to me."</span><br />
<br />
The thought was so clear and startling that I wrote it down in my journal.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nZN642XJjWQ/V_0QYrri3lI/AAAAAAAAAmM/AYVzRk5q0mIJtb0ulv6QfxHk-tPqGHKUQCEw/s1600/forget%2Bthe%2Bformer%2Bthings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nZN642XJjWQ/V_0QYrri3lI/AAAAAAAAAmM/AYVzRk5q0mIJtb0ulv6QfxHk-tPqGHKUQCEw/s320/forget%2Bthe%2Bformer%2Bthings.jpg" width="213" /></a>I knew what God wanted me to release, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go there.<br />
<br />
I didn't really want to go through the memories and pain and issues that I habitually relegated to my subconscious, yet which I knew had such a hold over me and how I interacted with others.<br />
<br />
The things I told myself on my darkest nights, while my head knew they were twisted and false, had the strange comfort of familiarity.<br />
<br />
Hiding from love, hiding from risk, hiding from the possibility of rejection and censure, was a way to protect the vulnerable, unhealed places in my heart. I had been coping, hadn't I? Perhaps. But not living the way I was meant to live.<br />
<br />
I knew that whatever else God was up to, He was after my transformation. As John Eldredge puts it: "Remember--He is after both our transformation and our joy. The one hangs upon the other...Whole and holy. The two go hand in hand... Healed. As in fixed. Restored." (Walking with God, pp. 33-35)<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"Long before God laid down earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love." Ephesians 1:3-4, The Message</span></blockquote>
<br />
To be made whole and holy by His love. And so God was asking me to look at my fear and my beliefs about love again. <br />
<br />
Two days later, I sat down in the conservatory and shut myself away from the world. Armed with a large cup of tea, two pens, my journal, and copious amounts of blank paper, I set about following God's instructions to "release them to Me."<br />
<br />
I wrote down my memories, things that I thought I had forgiven or shrugged off, but which perhaps I hadn't forgiven after all, and which had obviously continued to have an impact on my way of thinking.<br />
<br />
I wrote down my agreements about love.<br />
<br />
I wrote down my fears.<br />
<br />
I wrote down my agreements about myself. One thing that kept surfacing was the belief that I am not ____ enough. Fill in the blank any way you like, I've probably thought that about myself.<br />
<br />
"Alright God," I said aloud. "You asked me to release these things. I give them up to You. Break the hold they have over my thoughts, my actions, and my reactions. Replace the false, hurtful agreements I have made about love, life, and myself with truth instead." I ripped up the sheets of paper, praying over each one.<br />
<br />
As I sat in silence, God spoke to my heart again. I wrote the impressions down in my journal:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
<span style="color: #990000;">"Now that you have released these things, you must replace your fear with praise, and lies with truth.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span><span style="color: #990000;">You think love doesn't stay. My love never leaves. I love you with an everlasting love. I will never leave you. I rejoice over you --yes, you-- with singing.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span><span style="color: #990000;">I want you to look at Me, not at yourself and your inadequacies. Realign your focus. Love is freeing; it frees you to be your best self."</span></blockquote>
<br />
And then suddenly, He said something that touched at the recurring theme in my memories, the persistent belief that has kept me fearful -- the feeling of not being good enough.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"My love is not conditional. It is not based on your performance. I look at you and I see the perfection of my Son."</span></blockquote>
<br />
"What, God? What?" I gasped.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"When I look at you, I see the perfection of my Son. Quit thinking you are not enough."</span></blockquote>
<br />
I was crying now. God goes to the heart of the matter. He is so kind.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">"When I look at you, I see the perfection of my Son."</span></blockquote>
<br />
He doesn't see me as not ____ enough. He doesn't look at me and think, "She's not good enough, not pretty enough, not talented enough for Me."<br />
<br />
Because I am His, because I ask Jesus to cover my shortcomings with his Robe of Righteousness, because it is "no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20) -- God looks at me and sees perfection.<br />
<br />
His love for me, His delight in me, is unchanging.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3Rl0WFrXgpM/V_0QYwId7aI/AAAAAAAAAmM/HJ9rllJtCPI7aTnDWgvc01BpZ0ZL_KaTACEw/s1600/gods-daisy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3Rl0WFrXgpM/V_0QYwId7aI/AAAAAAAAAmM/HJ9rllJtCPI7aTnDWgvc01BpZ0ZL_KaTACEw/s320/gods-daisy.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"God's Daisy Game"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And ultimately, it is God's opinion of me that matters most.<br />
<br />
Finally, as I wiped away my tears and prepared to get back to the responsibilities of the day, God said to me, <span style="color: #990000;">"Let my love replace fear at the core of your being. And my love will release you to love well, too."</span><br />
<br />
It's been almost a week since that morning with God. Sometimes I still struggle with insidious insecurities and fears that raise up their heads and try to burrow back into my heart. It's a gradual journey. There is no magical overnight change, but there is progress, and I have at least made the conscious decision to let go of the things which have hurt me and kept me in fear. I have given God permission to rebuild my personality based on love instead of fear.<br />
<br />
Whatever happens next, I want to keep hold of these truths God has been patiently showing me.<br />
<br />
I want to be "rooted and grounded in love" -- I want to be able to understand "what is the width and length and depth and height -- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that [I] may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3: 17-19)<br />
<br />
I want that for you, too.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-opOBDWVeCLA/V_0QY-pE3NI/AAAAAAAAAmM/mFU604cKYO4A9SrsjOXr1-NLQ_lpDq4ygCEw/s1600/no%2Bfear%2Bin%2Blove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-opOBDWVeCLA/V_0QY-pE3NI/AAAAAAAAAmM/mFU604cKYO4A9SrsjOXr1-NLQ_lpDq4ygCEw/s320/no%2Bfear%2Bin%2Blove.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You love me like I'm one in a million."<br />From the song "One in a Million" by Elevation Church Kids</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-61363249373259066832016-03-27T10:50:00.000-04:002016-03-27T10:50:48.397-04:00Christian Holidays and Pagan Roots: Honoring Other Gods?This Easter I've seen quite a number of images like this floating around my Facebook news feed:<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dLraru4LDOg/Vvfapbrq7BI/AAAAAAAAAkI/i9X18uqT2s8l2iowA_dRhod8dff9THVdQ/s1600/for%2Bblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dLraru4LDOg/Vvfapbrq7BI/AAAAAAAAAkI/i9X18uqT2s8l2iowA_dRhod8dff9THVdQ/s320/for%2Bblog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Something bothered me about seeing these posts, but not because they pointed to the pagan roots of and influences on our modern holiday traditions. We know that's a fact. It's not too hard to dig into history and find out that the Roman Church adopted certain pagan festivals and rechristened them as Christian celebrations. And even without a knowledge of history, it's not too hard to discern that bunnies and eggs have nothing to do with the Risen Christ.<br />
<br />
However, when someone in my Christian family points these things out, I can't help wondering, "Why are you bringing this up? How important is this historical fact to the present-day meaning of the celebration? Are you inferring that I should not celebrate this holiday, and if so, why?"<br />
<br />
This post is my attempt to succinctly articulate why all this bothers me.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><br />"While knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church." 1 Corinthians 8:1</span> </blockquote>
As I looked at the picture above, I couldn't help thinking that the principles in the writings of Paul could apply here. In 1 Corinthians 8, Paul addresses the issue of eating food that had been offered to idols. Some of the church in Corinth thought there was nothing wrong with it, and others had distinct qualms. Paul says:<br />
<br />
"Well, we all know that an idol is not really a god and that there is only one God. There may be so-called gods both in heaven and on earth, and some people actually worship many gods and many lords. But for us, there is one God, the Father, by whom all things were created, and for whom we live. And there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things were created, and through whom we live. However, not all believers know this. Some are accustomed to thinking of idols as being real, so when they eat food that has been offered to idols, they think of it as the worship of real gods, and their weak consciences are violated." (verses 4-7)<br />
<br />
Paul reminds his readers that the gods they are worried about -- Baal, Ishtar, and Tammuz, to use the example in the picture above -- are really nothing. Eating meat offered to an idol -- or eating an Easter egg, or putting a Christmas wreath on your door -- means nothing.<br />
<br />
But that's only part of what bothers me. The other thing that concerns me is that posts like these, and often the comments accompanying them, either implicitly or explicitly point judgemental fingers at other people. Sadly, we are often quick to raise eyebrows, to condemn, and to think that we are more righteous than our brothers and sisters because we do or don't do something, whatever "side" you're on. I believe that especially for issues such as the celebration of Easter and Christmas, this attitude is neither helpful nor necessary. <br />
<br />
There is always the danger that "knowledge puffeth up", whether it's knowledge about the pagan practices that influenced current holiday traditions, or the kind of knowledge that Paul references in 1 Corinthians 8 and Romans 14.<br />
<br />
However, Paul presents all his arguments in a framework of love.<br />
<br />
Although he reminds believers that idols are nothing and implies that there's nothing to worry about in eating meat sacrificed to them, he also reminds them that they shouldn't go pointing fingers at someone who doesn't think the same way they do, or encouraging them to do something the other believer thinks is wrong.<br />
<br />
Regarding judgemental tendencies, Paul writes to the Romans in a similar context as he wrote to the Corinthians:<br />
<br />
"Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don't. And those who don't eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else's servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord's help, they will stand and receive his approval... So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgement seat of God...Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let's stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believe to stumble and fall." (Romans 14: 3, 4, 10-13)<br />
<br />
The Bible has nothing to say about the celebration of Christmas and Easter holidays in the sense that we observe them today. God does not command that we keep or remember them in the same way that he wants us to keep the Sabbath or celebrate communion, for example. Believers should be able to make their own decisions about whether or not they keep these other holidays in accordance with their own conscience.<br />
<br />
Ellen White, a respected author in my denomination, <a href="http://www.whiteestate.org/issues/Christmas.html#The Holidays" target="_blank">said the following</a> regarding Christmas, and I believe the principle can be carried into other celebrations as well:<br />
<br />
"Letters of inquiry have come to us asking, Shall we have a Christmas tree? Will it not be like the world? We answer, You can make it like the world if you have a disposition to do so, or you can make it as unlike the world as possible...A word to the wise is sufficient."<br />
<br />
So celebrate Christmas. And Easter. Or don't.<br />
<br />
Whatever you choose to do, it's important to remember that Christmas and Easter are times when people are thinking about Jesus, even if it is only fleetingly. Rather than focusing attention on pagan histories and starting debates about whether or not we should observe the holidays, as Christians, let's put the attention back on Christ. <br />
<br />
"So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up." (Romans 14:19)<br />
<br />
Instead of subtly or openly criticizing each other, let us focus on the reason that we exist and the mission God has given us to share His love. <br />
<br />
After all, whatever you think about Easter, it doesn't change the fact: He is risen indeed. And that's something to be excited about.Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-67382324788887106682016-02-12T16:22:00.000-05:002016-02-12T16:22:27.628-05:00Hiding from LoveI adored Jamie with all the shy fervency of my 10-year-old heart. With his olive skin, floppy dark hair, and oversized denim jacket, he was the cutest and the coolest 14-year-old in my neighbourhood. I'd had a crush on him since the day he leaned over his garden gate, hit me with a dazzling smile and laughingly teased me about the squeaky breaks on my bicycle as I rode past his house.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qm7fiN-vafM/Vr5H_78GbVI/AAAAAAAAAjk/8VdBW7lcNWE/s1600/leonardo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qm7fiN-vafM/Vr5H_78GbVI/AAAAAAAAAjk/8VdBW7lcNWE/s1600/leonardo.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Close enough to how I remember him...haha</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
"I don't see the point of my crush," I wrote in my diary. (The introspection started early.) "He probably doesn't fancy me. In fact, he probably already has a girlfriend."<br />
<br />
One day, as I was playing with Jamie's sister and her pet ferrets in the garden, one of Jamie's friends came and stood over us, twisting his baseball cap in his hands uncomfortably. "Jamie wants to know if you'll go out with him," he blurted out to me. I was stunned. My dreams were coming true! Then I thought of the wrath of my parents should they find out their innocent, 10-year-old daughter was going out with a 14-year-old "ruffian", and I shook my head. "I can't go out with him," I said, and ran away.<br />
<br />
Jamie and his friends still hung around occasionally after that, but I would always find a reason to leave them before too long. I would hide behind my bedroom curtain and peek out to watch the object of my thwarted affection riding his BMX moodily around the block.<br />
<br />
Fast forward fifteen years. I was having lunch at a friend's house, lazily scanning her bookshelves as I waited for the food, when the title of one book leapt out at me. "We all long to be cared for, but we prevent it by...HIDING FROM LOVE," the cover proclaimed, in huge enough print so that if you're reading the book in public, everyone can see at a glance what's wrong with you. Smaller print assured, "How to change the withdrawal patterns that isolate and imprison you."<br />
<br />
At that moment something inside me clicked.<br />
<br />
Since moving back to England, I'd had plenty of opportunity to consider loneliness and my attitude towards various relationships (friendships as well as romance). Although I've certainly had my share of crushes, I've never been one to jump into anything quickly or really pursue an interest, partly for good reasons and partly, as I was beginning to realize, for unhealthy reasons. I recalled my deepest love interests and realized that in spite of what good things I saw in the guys and hoped for between us, there had always been a part of me that <i>knew </i>a relationship wasn't likely to work out, even though I pushed those reasons into my subconscious. Then I imagined what it would be like to meet someone and pursue a serious relationship now, and to my surprise, the first thing I felt was...fear.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KkGUriVXZDo/Vr5DiDhXxvI/AAAAAAAAAjM/L_fZQEXtslA/s1600/2016-02-12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KkGUriVXZDo/Vr5DiDhXxvI/AAAAAAAAAjM/L_fZQEXtslA/s640/2016-02-12.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See the whole awesome comic <a href="http://zenpencils.com/comic/103-c-s-lewis-to-love-at-all/" target="_blank">here </a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Perhaps I <i>have</i> been hiding from love -- metaphorically running away, as I literally ran away from Jamie all those years ago. I've definitely been living out withdrawal patterns. And I have been realizing that my past has a more significant impact on my present than I have always given it credit for.<br />
<br />
There are probably many factors that play into my tendency to hide or withdraw.<br />
<br />
One factor, I think, comes from moving around a lot as I grew up. The cross-cultural and highly mobile lifestyle of a pastor's/missionary's kid impacts your relational patterns. Some of those effects are good, but some of them are negative. As someone who travels a lot, even if you are used to making friends quickly, you become adept at avoiding deeper intimacy. As you become used to leaving and being left, you learn to minimize the pain of loss by perhaps refusing to acknowledge your true depth of care for anyone or anything, refusing to feel pain and becoming emotionally "flat", or "leaning away" from relationships -- becoming detached or withdrawn (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004774S1O/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank">David Pollock and Ruth van Reken</a>). I've noticed this playing out in my life, especially in the sense of leaning away from someone, as if I'm subconsciously getting ready for the loss of a relationship.<br /><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gCdnzu82YKg/Vr5Gr2PX5hI/AAAAAAAAAjY/b2HuJYXMJo8/s1600/2016-02-12%2B%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gCdnzu82YKg/Vr5Gr2PX5hI/AAAAAAAAAjY/b2HuJYXMJo8/s400/2016-02-12%2B%25281%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Another factor is simply due to the hurts that accumulate from living in a broken world. Nobody has the perfect childhood or adolescence, and life leaves its wounds. I have my scars. Over the years, various experiences have imprinted a message on my heart that in one way or another, I am not enough. I have believed that if someone found out this or that about me, they would stop loving me, they would leave. It may be a lie, but it has become so deeply embedded in my way of thinking that even now I sometimes struggle to see it as anything but the truth. The resulting fear makes true vulnerability high risk and unappealing. And yet for the best relationships to flourish, particularly a serious romantic relationship, vulnerability is essential.<br /><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TVY6iNQ_Ea0/Vr5DgQKUYYI/AAAAAAAAAjI/_rl4dJBTu3E/s1600/vulnerable.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TVY6iNQ_Ea0/Vr5DgQKUYYI/AAAAAAAAAjI/_rl4dJBTu3E/s320/vulnerable.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"The truth will set you free. Perfect love expels all fear. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." (John 8 and 1 John 4)</span></b></blockquote>
I know many truths that can fight against the lies in my soul. I <i>know </i>that my worth ultimately comes from the God who sees me as I am and still wants to call me His friend.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"There is tremendous relief in knowing that His love for me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery can now disillusion Him about me or quench His determination to bless me." (J. I. Packer, Knowing God)</span></b></blockquote>
I am reading some great books to help me get past my fear, to help me find healing and stop hiding (including <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Myself-Embracing-Gods-Dream/dp/1434708411" target="_blank">Becoming Myself </a>and <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hiding-Love-Withdrawal-Patterns-Imprison/dp/0310201071/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1455304429&sr=1-1&keywords=hiding+from+love" target="_blank">Hiding from Love</a>).<br />
<br />
But moving something from the brain to the heart takes time. Learning to have grace for myself in my imperfection and failure, as God has grace for me, is a process.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"We are free to fail. Because of Jesus, we can be free from the cages of other people's expectations, demands, yokes, and judgements--even our own...We are loved, forgiven, embraced."(Stasi Eldredge, Becoming Myself) </span></b></blockquote>
If the saying is true -- "We accept the love we think we deserve" -- then only when I have accepted the truth about myself, the truth as God sees it, will I be free to accept love instead of hiding from it. And only then will I be free to truly give love, too.<br />
<br />
Thankfully, I'm not on this journey by myself. Besides finding strength in my relationship with God, I have some safe people to grow with. True community, as I'm learning, is a necessary part of growth and healing.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"Relationships are portrayed as crucial in the Bible...Our need for connection extends not only to God. It also means we need each other. During the Creation, the only "not good" God mentioned in an otherwise perfect universe was that Adam was alone. God wasn't simply dealing with the benefits of marriage in this passage. He was addressing the deeper issue of our need for attachment and relationship, of which marriage is one important component... The fact is that having relationships with God and other people is not an either-or proposition; it is a both-and necessity. The heart has a deep need for God, who placed eternity there. The same heart yearns for satisfying and safe human attachments in which we can be truly known and truly loved, that we may all be one." (Dr. John Townsend, Hiding from Love) </span></b></blockquote>
Eventually I will learn not to hide from love. Eventually I will learn not just to extend grace to others, but also to myself.<br />
<br />
And in the meantime, well, let's face it... I'm in grad school!<br />
<br />
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Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-43353612245367641052016-01-15T16:12:00.000-05:002016-01-16T08:49:56.474-05:00BehindEveryone I know got married or engaged this winter. That is, everyone who was left over from the past couple of wedding seasons, when summer marriages in my social circle saw an unprecedented increase.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-x-oiKHRSYSM/VplZ0fTHE6I/AAAAAAAAAgs/am3EBs6ewx0/s1600/pp%2Bwedding%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-x-oiKHRSYSM/VplZ0fTHE6I/AAAAAAAAAgs/am3EBs6ewx0/s320/pp%2Bwedding%2B2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Well, alright, not <i>everyone </i>got married.<br />
<br />
A guy I follow on Instagram visited 26 countries during 2015. A couple of people had babies. Other friends moved house, got new jobs or climbed their career ladder, travelled, helped refugees, went to shows in London, and generally got on with their grown-up lives.<br />
<br />
I moved back in with my parents and went into further education, a move that left me with mixed feelings and no cash.<br />
<br />
If you've read any of my blogs from the past few months, you'll know the transition from my old life to my new one was not easy. Sometimes I've struggled against feeling like a child again (although I have to credit my parents for not treating me as such) -- against feeling lonely -- against feeling trapped -- and against feeling behind.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8UJ2YnKof74/VplVKnswcKI/AAAAAAAAAgg/FMfWCBevlqA/s1600/highlight%2Breel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8UJ2YnKof74/VplVKnswcKI/AAAAAAAAAgg/FMfWCBevlqA/s320/highlight%2Breel.jpg" width="320" /></a>Sometimes it's easy to compare myself with peers who look like they're "ahead" in their careers, relationships, financial situation etc., and wonder what happened with my own life. It's easy to feel like I haven't "made it" yet...whatever that means...and that everyone else has their lives figured out and on track. <br />
<br />
Part of my problem, I think, is that I've always struggled to be fully engaged with the present. I tend to look forward to significant points in the future -- the weekend, graduation, the summer, my first regular paycheck -- at the expense of what is happening, what God is giving me, in the moment.<br />
<br />
I think about the next place I'm going to go; I have trouble imagining myself in one place for very long or putting down any real roots.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TkV95Lj6RmI/VplVCn_4VfI/AAAAAAAAAgU/klDf3bc_z6s/s1600/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TkV95Lj6RmI/VplVCn_4VfI/AAAAAAAAAgU/klDf3bc_z6s/s400/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy.jpg" /></a>I overlook or downplay my own everyday adventures because I wonder what other, potentially better, adventures my friends are having. I tend to think the grass really may be greener for them.<br />
<br />
I miss out on joy.<br />
<br />
I'm tired of that. Life is what happens while you're making other plans, so they say, and I don't want to miss out on happiness and fulfilment in my life as it is here and now.<br />
<br />
In a very apt article, <a href="http://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/2014/11/how-to-ruin-your-life-without-even-noticing-that-you-are/" target="_blank">"How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)"</a>, the writer states, <b><span style="color: #990000;">"Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones." </span></b><br />
<br />
I'm beginning to internalize that.<br />
<br />
I'm realizing that my life doesn't have to follow other people's timelines (or plot lines, as my story-loving mind likes to imagine it). I can let go of some of my own preconceived notions of what my life should look like, too. Particularly as a Christian, I can be assured that God is somehow working out things for good, and that He is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG0a9WFkgzU" target="_blank">weaving my story</a> into part of a grander tale that I may not fully see or understand right now.<br />
<br />
A colleague kinda brought me up short this week as I pondered how "behind" I was feeling.<br />
<br />
We were talking about our language learning experiences in class, and I was briefly sharing some anecdotes about what had compelled me to learn German, Spanish, Lao, and Portuguese (to varying degrees of fluency), which included, of course, my travels and life abroad.<br />
<br />
"Can I ask how old you are?" my classmate said.<br />
<br />
"I'm 25," I replied.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"Wow, you've done so much!"</span></b> she said.<br />
<br />
I thought about it on my train-ride home. I have done a lot. My pathway may not have been very traditional, but I have so many stories and experiences and people that I would never have encountered if I hadn't gotten "behind." Honestly, I wouldn't exchange all of that to be on par with my peers in relationships and apartments of their own.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--d7p5Plrxb0/VplfMbnb5QI/AAAAAAAAAg8/Ur1XtD6f3R4/s1600/FotorCreated.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--d7p5Plrxb0/VplfMbnb5QI/AAAAAAAAAg8/Ur1XtD6f3R4/s640/FotorCreated.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Riding 3 to a motorcycle? Done that!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
These days, I may not have prospects of marriage or a job that allows me to support myself on the horizon, but I'm in the worldwide #1 university for my field, studying things that fascinate me, working towards a Master's degree in something I believe can help make a difference in the world. I have family and friends who support me.<br />
<br />
What do I have to complain about, really?<br />
<br />
I thought about these things as I watched the winter-grey, terribly ordinary suburban neighbourhoods of Greater London flash past my train window. And I was happy. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EGqivwLpsvQ/VplStByP6jI/AAAAAAAAAf8/769qplcJTec/s1600/be%2Ball%2Bthere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EGqivwLpsvQ/VplStByP6jI/AAAAAAAAAf8/769qplcJTec/s320/be%2Ball%2Bthere.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-62883577739159871112016-01-02T11:56:00.000-05:002016-01-02T11:56:15.451-05:00Christmas Spirit and the New Year's ChallengeCertain people would say I'm a grinch. It's true that I dislike hearing Christmas music before December, and, if it was left up to me, I wouldn't put up my tree before Christmas Eve. I <i>do </i>like the holiday, though, whatever grinch-like things I may do or say earlier in the year.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cpIAwoqMkzE/Vof_v_Ira4I/AAAAAAAAAfo/iq4_ARe80hw/s1600/Xmas%2Bspirit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cpIAwoqMkzE/Vof_v_Ira4I/AAAAAAAAAfo/iq4_ARe80hw/s320/Xmas%2Bspirit.jpg" width="320" /></a>But this December I was having more trouble than usual getting into the Christmas spirit. (I know I wasn't the only one.) My heart felt...tired and dull. Even the lights of Oxford street, Bing Crosby's croonings, and all the marzipan I wanted to eat couldn't produce a sense of real delight or warm fuzziness. I was in an inner huff about it.<br />
<br />
But as the days passed, I became increasingly convicted that I was thinking of Christmas spirit in the wrong way, and part of my problem was that I was focused entirely too much on myself. <br />
<br />
Today I read something that beautifully and powerfully sums up what God has been whispering to my heart about <i>real </i>Christmas spirit:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"We talk glibly of the 'Christmas spirit', rarely meaning more by this than sentimental jollity on a family basis. But...the phrase should in fact carry a tremendous weight of meaning. It ought to mean the reproducing in human lives of the temper of him who for our sakes became poor at the first Christmas. And the Christmas spirit itself ought to be the mark of every Christian all the year round...</b></span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"The Christmas spirit is the spirit of those who, like their Master, live their whole lives on the principle of making themselves poor -- spending, and being spent -- to enrich their fellow humans, giving time, trouble, care and concern, to do good to others -- not just their own friends -- in whatever way there seems need."</span></b></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(J.I. Packer, <i>Knowing God</i>)</blockquote>
<br />
Well...wow. Frankly, it's hard to live like this! Thinking of myself comes much more easily than thinking of others, yet the inescapable <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+2&version=NLT" target="_blank">call</a> remains: "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had."<br /><br />
(Thankfully, a few verses later we are assured that we're not alone in producing this attitude and lifestyle-- "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and power to do what pleases Him.")<br />
<br />
This is God's challenge to us not just for a few days in December, but as we go into the New Year, and for all our lives.<br />
<br />
May I, and may you, take the true spirit of Christmas into 2016 -- a spirit of selfless love in action, the spirit of our Master.Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-16718230648308580402015-11-08T19:13:00.001-05:002015-11-09T06:28:05.499-05:00Moving On: Loneliness, Long-Distance, and Life after GraduationI've always been somewhat proud of my ability to move on quickly. As I moved house numerous times while I was growing up, I became increasingly adept at putting the past behind me. I faced a new situation with steely reserve and a poker face that over time transformed from a mere façade to a real internal stoicism. Never mind impractical emotions; move on and embrace the new. I was good at change.<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fe8PCx9sX7Y/Vj_gHUa-qhI/AAAAAAAAAek/SVvELvet0dI/s1600/chickenchange.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fe8PCx9sX7Y/Vj_gHUa-qhI/AAAAAAAAAek/SVvELvet0dI/s320/chickenchange.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
That's why I was so surprised at how emotionally difficult I found the transition from my college lifestyle to life after graduation.<br />
<br />
When I arrived back in the UK, I was excited to see old friends, but at the same time I honestly didn't feel like I had the energy to genuinely reconnect with anyone or to open myself up to new people. I didn't feel like I had the energy to invest myself in anyone again. Life had moved on since I was last in England, and I wasn't confident of my place in the new social scene. I missed my college circle. I missed having people around who already knew me, my stories, my quirks, my likes and dislikes.<br />
<br />
(In spite of how I felt, I did my best to invest in friendships again, even though I still had a hedge around my heart at times, and I'm so thankful I did. My local friend circle is pretty amazing, and I'm much happier now than I was a few months ago. But it took more time than I was anticipating.)<br />
<br />
I was surprised at how lonely I felt in spite of new friendships. I wasn't very busy during the summer, and when those balmy summer nights became cool September days and my friends went back to work, I had a lot more time to wander around by myself and miss my old life.<br />
<br />
I missed the real sense of community and camaraderie I had in college. I missed having people popping over regularly, even if they were just going to sit at the kitchen table and do homework. I missed being busy (I wasn't in grad school then). I even missed having a room mate, which had been one of the biggest initial "culture shocks" of American college life!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-awfldUo-bgI/Vj_eplr4g4I/AAAAAAAAAeY/wJnQ5PnvnFY/s1600/phone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-awfldUo-bgI/Vj_eplr4g4I/AAAAAAAAAeY/wJnQ5PnvnFY/s400/phone.jpg" width="347" /></a>I've always been proud of being a great long-distance friend (also a result of all the moving around as a kid). I love letter writing and there are a few people I'm still close to in spite of seeing extremely rarely. However, over the past couple of years, I've noticed how difficult it is to maintain a genuine connection with friends when you move away. People do move on; everyone is busy with new jobs, new friends, new relationships and marriages, new babies, new priorities, new chapters in their lives. It's normal for relationships to change, but as I experienced that reality after graduation, although my mind understood, this time my heart was slower to catch up. In my heart, it really felt like I was losing friends.<br />
<br />
Some nights I would scroll mindlessly through Facebook for much longer than was necessary, trying to feel that elusive sense of connection with the people from my old life, <i>wishing </i>that somebody would message me. I allowed myself a few moments of bitterness: Why was <i>I </i>so often the one to initiate contact? Why weren't other people making the same effort? Sometimes people did message me -- a titbit of news, or a funny cartoon or video. I was glad they were thinking of me, but I ached to meaningfully connect. "Tell me what's happening in your life, tell me about your heart, and ask about mine!" I wrote in my journal one night when I was particularly frustrated.<br />
<br />
I missed a sense of genuine, deep human connection.<br />
<br />
Adjusting to life after graduation was indeed harder than I had anticipated. It takes a lot more effort and intentionality to build a good friendship circle in the "real world" than in college, and to sculpt your own life instead of letting it be structured by your class schedule. But that effort really is worth it...even if you're emotionally exhausted just thinking about it at first.<br />
<br />
I'm thankful to have been reminded of a couple of things in the past six months:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>It really does get better in time.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Nothing can replace genuine human connection. Not Facebook, not Instagram, not Snapchat. Useful as they are (and I am grateful for technology that makes the <i>possibility </i>of staying in touch easier), newsfeeds are no substitute for real, meaningful communication. </li>
</ul>
<br />
Invest in your relationships, local and long-distance. Be present.<br />
<br />
I am moving on. I'm engaging with the next phase of my life. I'm surrounded by delightful people. I'm constantly but happily busy with grad school. I'm much more satisfied and settled than I used to be. Life after graduation is going to be OK.<br />
<br />
A piece of advice, first given to Ruth Van Reken and passed on in her <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Third-Culture-Kids-Experience-Growing/dp/1857885252/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1447067937&sr=8-1&keywords=third+culture+kids+growing+up+among+worlds" target="_blank">book</a> about third culture kids, often plays on my mind. It's applicable as I get used to building this new stage of my life, and, I believe, it can apply to every stage of life that requires embracing change and moving on.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"Wherever you go in life, unpack your bags--physically and mentally--and plant your trees. Too many people never live in the now because they assume the time is too short to settle in. They don't plant trees because they expect to be gone before the trees bear fruit. But if you keep thinking about the next move, you'll never live fully where you are. When it's time to go, then it's time to go, but you won't have missed what this experience was about."</b></span> </blockquote>
<br />
<br />
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<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-23139651425496317452015-10-16T16:00:00.000-04:002015-10-16T16:00:09.602-04:00Confession of a Recovering Christian AtheistI've always loved perusing other people's bookshelves. One of my college room-mates had a book on her desk with a title that fascinated and disturbed me: <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Christian-Atheist-Believing-Living-Doesnt/dp/0310332222/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1445020054&sr=1-1&keywords=the+christian+atheist" target="_blank">The Christian Atheist.</a> I haven't yet read the whole book, but my pastor often quoted it in his sermon series of the time, and I thought a lot about the title. Did I believe in God but live as though he didn't exist?<br />
<br />
Yes, I often did.<br />
<br />
One of the biggest ways that "Christian Atheism" worked out in my life was in how anxious I was about the future when it was out of my control--in fact, how I worried about <i>anything </i>that was out of my control. I liked playing God for myself, but of course that didn't always work out so great!<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;"><b>"When we live by faith, we believe that God has everything under control. But if we start to worry, how we live says the opposite." (Craig Groeschel, <i>The Christian Atheist</i>)</b></span></blockquote>
God has been bringing my mistrustful tendencies to my attention many times over the past months, and I'm glad of it. I'm tired of worry stealing my joy.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CTIMhzfM9LY/ViFVlnQI3jI/AAAAAAAAAd0/gP3dUON4HnI/s1600/just%2Bahead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CTIMhzfM9LY/ViFVlnQI3jI/AAAAAAAAAd0/gP3dUON4HnI/s320/just%2Bahead.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I was flicking through an old journal when something I wrote jumped out at me, something that God impressed on my heart at the time and that is still so relevant to me today. It is written from God's perspective, and I've shared it on this blog before, but I thought it merited sharing again:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"I have not called you to freak out about the future. Your freaking out will not alter My good plan, but it will rob you of today's joy. I have called you to walk with me <i>today</i>, to give yourself to <i>today</i>, to trust Me <i>today</i>. How long until you learn, my child? I am not against you. I am able to do more than you can ask or imagine. Stop doubting and believe."</span></b></blockquote>
The problems and heartache that provided the context for that journal entry were indeed soothed and solved; it amazes me how quick I am to forget. <br />
<br />
I'm trying to be more intentional about taking God at his word.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C0-TaoWzaNc/ViFVlrjjmYI/AAAAAAAAAeA/zgZ7Ca38Cfs/s1600/Just%2Btrust%2BMe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-C0-TaoWzaNc/ViFVlrjjmYI/AAAAAAAAAeA/zgZ7Ca38Cfs/s320/Just%2Btrust%2BMe.jpg" width="320" /></a>I am learning to believe that he means what he says when he tells me, "<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+4%3A6-7&version=NLT" target="_blank">Do not worry.</a>" I am choosing to believe that <a href="http://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/philippians/4-19.html" target="_blank">he will take care of my needs.</a> I am choosing to believe that he really does <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+8%3A28&version=NLT" target="_blank">work all things out for the good</a> of those who love him.<br />
<br />
It is easier to trust someone that you know--someone that you love--someone that you know loves <i>you. </i>I guess that's what it comes down to with God-- knowing him not as some distant abstract being, but as a real, loving, active presence in your life.<br />
<br />
How would my life be different if I knew God more deeply and if I <i>really</i> believed that he loves me? How would your life be different?<br />
<br />
<br />
I am thankful that God wants to be known and that he doesn't give up on me while I'm learning to trust him. (Jer 29:11-13, Acts 17:27, Psalm 37:23, 24.)<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">"Imagine how a [wo]man's life would be if [s]he trusted that [s]he was loved by God." (Donald Miller, <i>Searching for God Knows What</i>)</span></b></blockquote>
Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-21119544991718831702015-09-11T16:58:00.001-04:002015-09-11T16:58:50.006-04:00If I ignore it, will it go away?<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-76vTPMUxp3w/VfM667EFG0I/AAAAAAAAAc4/Dt3f4yshA4A/s1600/the%2Bavengers%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-76vTPMUxp3w/VfM667EFG0I/AAAAAAAAAc4/Dt3f4yshA4A/s320/the%2Bavengers%2B2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span lang="EN-US">I’ve
always had a soft spot for superhero movies, spy adventures, and true-story-inspired
war epics—<i>The Avengers, The Great Escape,
</i>James Bond, and so on. As the movie’s background music would build to its
heart-stopping crescendo, I would relish the excitement of the hero saving the
world against all the odds, the agent’s narrow escape, or the soldier’s bravery. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="line-height: 150%;">As a child (and sometimes as an adult, I admit), I would replay the films in my imagination and put myself in a
starring role. I imagined myself to be as tenacious, cunning, courageous, and
self-sacrificing (not to mention superpower-full) as the on-screen characters. Real
life could seem quite unremarkable after thrilling to those stories of war. </span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SGrlRxvLFtc/VfM_iEQT0hI/AAAAAAAAAdU/i0-Rn-aq664/s1600/THE-GREAT-ESCAPE-1963-STEVE-MCQUEEN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SGrlRxvLFtc/VfM_iEQT0hI/AAAAAAAAAdU/i0-Rn-aq664/s320/THE-GREAT-ESCAPE-1963-STEVE-MCQUEEN.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">The
truth is, though, that I do live in a war. I just don’t tend to think about it.</span><span style="line-height: 150%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: #990000;"><b>“This is
no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a
couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against
the Devil and all his angels.”</b></span></i></blockquote>
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k2gUqHS6b30/VfM66fWBVoI/AAAAAAAAAcw/0XYEPOyjxVU/s1600/christ-vs-satan2528pppa2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k2gUqHS6b30/VfM66fWBVoI/AAAAAAAAAcw/0XYEPOyjxVU/s320/christ-vs-satan2528pppa2529.jpg" width="242" /></a></div>
<span style="line-height: 150%;">As a
Christian, my worldview embraces the Great Controversy—the story of a war in
heaven that spilled out onto earth, that great cosmic conflict between Good and
Evil, Christ and Satan. When I lived in Asia, the spirit realm was a day-to-day
reality; I knew people who had communication and tangible experiences with the
spirits. I had some dubious encounters myself. However, in the comfortable, scientific
culture of the West, it’s easy to forget that there’s more to life than what we
see and that spiritual warfare is a reality. </span><div>
<span style="line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="line-height: 150%;">I do believe that I am part of the
great battle between Good and Evil… yet I rarely live </span><i style="line-height: 150%;">mindfully, </i><span style="line-height: 150%;">as though I really do acknowledge my part in the
controversy. Why?</span><div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">After
some honest reflection, I realized: I don’t want to be in a war. It’s too much
bother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">If I
ignore it, will it go away? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t
want to think twice about whether what I do, what I say, and the way I live is doing
more for the side of Evil or for the side of Good. Whether I’m playing into the hands of the Enemy
or being used by the hands of my God. Whether I’m under assault or
unwittingly dispersing “friendly fire.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">Really, I
just want to think about me. I want to skip through life comfortably and. . . blindly. It’s easier that way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i63KZ6t62-4/VfM668EkFmI/AAAAAAAAAc8/JKwHNp6fEag/s1600/what%2Bwill%2Byou%2Bsacrifice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i63KZ6t62-4/VfM668EkFmI/AAAAAAAAAc8/JKwHNp6fEag/s320/what%2Bwill%2Byou%2Bsacrifice.jpg" width="235" /></a><span lang="EN-US">As a citizen of Earth, I don’t have a choice about whether I’m in a war or not, though.
To pretend otherwise is to deny reality—a tragic reality that plays out on our
TV screens and infiltrates our daily lives. Ultimately, I <i>do </i>have to choose which side to be on. How am I going to make a
difference? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">Thank
God that He is patiently, slowly changing the selfish tendencies of my heart.
He doesn’t give up on me, even during the times when to the universe, I may look more like I’m playing the damaging role of a double agent rather than
being faithful to the side I claim to have chosen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span lang="EN-US">I want
to keep my heart awake and my eyes open to the meaningful part I can have in
the unfolding plot of Good versus Evil. Looking at the world today, it feels
more and more like we’re in the last chapter of the story. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 150%;">
<i><span style="color: #990000;"><b>"Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon that God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."</b></span></i></blockquote>
Quotes take from Ephesians 6, The Message<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="line-height: 150%;">
</blockquote>
</div>
</div>
Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-3150900164486682822014-12-29T13:33:00.000-05:002014-12-29T13:33:45.059-05:00The Insanity of ForgivenessHis eyes are crazy, deep pools of hatred. I grip my scarf until my knuckles are white as I watch him beat the helpless young man before me, striking him again and again across the face with his cane. It's not the first time. I know it won't be the last time. I feel wrath, even hatred, bubbling up inside me, and I wish I could hit this bully back, beat him twice for every blow he's given Louis. But there's nothing I can do.<br />
<br />
There's nothing I can do because I'm sitting in the cinema, and the young man, Louis, is on the big screen. I'm watching "Unbroken." The movie posters declare that it's an incredible true story of survival, resilience, and redemption, which it is, but I would like to add one more thing: it's an incredible true story of insanity. The insanity of war and man's brutality to man, and the insanity of faith and forgiveness.<br />
<br />
Forgiveness, when you think about it, isn't very "fair"--nor, perhaps, is it terribly satisfying. When I see Louis being tortured by the prison guard in the film -- or when I hear news stories of, for example, the Taliban massacring hundreds of innocent schoolchildren -- the anger that wells up inside me cries out for revenge. For justice to be served against the guilty. The kind of justice that takes an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a life for a life.<br />
<br />
It's at such times that I can resonate with David's heated pleas, "Oh, that you would slay the wicked, O God!" (Ps 139:19) I can understand why God would hate sin and anything that hurts his creation. I can appreciate God's statement: "I do not excuse the guilty" (Ex 34:7). What I find harder to understand is when God says, "I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. . . I take no pleasure in the death of wicked people. I only want them to turn from their wicked ways so they can live" (Ex 34:7, Eze 33:10). I cannot understand forgiveness. <br />
<br />
It's one thing for God to forgive me. After all, I'm basically good, right? I haven't committed war crimes. I haven't slaughtered innocents. I deserve forgiveness. Wicked people don't. Surely, to forgive the wicked doesn't make sense.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ld0zoP5we_k/VKGZnDOTMgI/AAAAAAAAAYI/r4v0kFSc0ts/s1600/True%2Bforgiveness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ld0zoP5we_k/VKGZnDOTMgI/AAAAAAAAAYI/r4v0kFSc0ts/s1600/True%2Bforgiveness.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture taken from www.christianfilmdatabase.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
At the end of "Unbroken," Louie -- who has devoted his life to God -- returns to Japan, influenced by his faith to seek forgiveness rather than revenge as a way forward. The movie's <a href="http://www.unbrokenfilm.com/" target="_blank">website</a> quotes Louis: "The one who forgives never brings up that past; true forgiveness is complete and total." That's insane. <br />
<br />
To give up your desire to see the other person hurt in justifiable revenge? To offer unconditional forgiveness for terrible wrongs? It goes against every natural instinct. Forgiveness is something that, when I really try to think about it, is practically impossible to wrap my head around.<br />
<br />
War and human brutality is insane. Forgiveness is also insane. It requires something superhuman. True forgiveness must be divine, and the fact that there is a faith that not only calls for forgiveness, but somehow also enables people to truly give it and live it -- as evidenced by Louie and many, many others -- is astounding.<br />
<br />
There is something beautiful in the madness. <br />
<br />
<br />Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-15592524064619013882014-12-13T17:18:00.000-05:002014-12-13T17:18:15.132-05:00Jesus Claus<span style="color: #990000;"><i>Dear Jesus Claus,</i></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="color: #990000;"><i>I know you have a list and are checking it twice, but by and large I've been a good girl this year. I'm sure I don't really deserve to be on the naughty list. So can you please, please send me a new car, a lot more money than I have right now, and a good man? Amen.</i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><i>P.S. Oh, and can you hurry it up a bit? Thanks. </i></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kr1xtIWWR08/VIy53Ev8CWI/AAAAAAAAAXY/aYgv3EvVcxs/s1600/naughty%2Blist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kr1xtIWWR08/VIy53Ev8CWI/AAAAAAAAAXY/aYgv3EvVcxs/s1600/naughty%2Blist.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a></i></div>
<br />
<br />
Salvation is a free gift, but everything else has to be earned, right? After all, just like Santa Claus, God only gives nice things to those who have accumulated enough brownie points.<br />
<br />
At least, that's what I realized I'd fallen into thinking.<br />
<br />
I was journaling through some prayers, pouring out my heart to God and asking Him for something in one sentence, but in the next sentence agonizing over how I really didn't deserve such a gift anyway and hence I didn't expect to receive it. And suddenly I stopped short. What was I thinking about God?!<br />
<br />
I began to write: <span style="color: #990000;">"<i>Do I really believe that any good I receive is because I deserve it somehow? That any time God gifts me is because I've ticked all the right boxes? That for God to bring something into my life I have to bribe Him with good behavior? Ouch."</i></span><br />
<br />
God doesn't work that way. He is not some Santa Claus figure, weighing up my good deeds and my bad deeds before deciding whether I go on the Naughty or Nice list, and thus deciding whether I should receive any good gifts or answered prayers.<br />
<br />
God is someone who loves to give and gives because He loves.<br />
<br />
Over and over again in my Bible study this year, verses about the goodness and abundance of God have jumped out at me. He promises that those who seek Him will not lack any good thing (Psalm 34:10). He "deals bountifully" with His people (Psalm 13:6), and brings them to "rich fulfillment" (Psalm 66:12). He promises that I can be "abundantly satisfied" with the "fullness" of His house (Psalm 36:8).<br />
<br />
And all of this is simply because of who He is. Not because of anything I've done to be placed on a Naughty or Nice list.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #990000;">How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Oh, continue Your lovingkindness to those who know You. You crown me with lovingkindness and tender mercies. Whoever is wise will observe these things, and they will understand the lovingkindness of the Lord. </span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;">(From Psalms 36, 103, 107)</span></blockquote>
<br />
**<br />
Thank you to Tamara Naja for giving me the suggestion and inspiration for this post.Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3012555814443335054.post-60309004210964756942014-10-31T19:11:00.002-04:002014-10-31T21:32:44.988-04:00The Rat Race 2: The Courage of My Convictions<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to
make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Ralph Waldo
Emerson</span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Change demands courage. As I’ve been inwardly rebelling
against the evils of the rat race (read some of my thoughts <a href="http://beautifulmoments-lynette.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-rat-race-1-relationships.html" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://beautifulmoments-lynette.blogspot.com/2013/02/missing-it.html" target="_blank">here</a>), I’ve
begun to realize that outwardly I haven’t done much about it. (That being said,
this week I did give more time to people, and felt so much better for it. Yay!)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Actions speak louder than words. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I say that God is the most important thing in my life, but I
don’t act like I believe “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you.” (Matt 6:33)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I say that other people are more important than myself, but
so much of my daily life is wrapped up in what <i>I </i>need to do, what <i>I </i>want
to do with my limited free time, and how <i>I
</i>need to act to promote <i>my </i>future
success.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s not that completing tasks is wrong. It’s not that
wanting excellent grades is foolish. It's not that seeking success is worthless. However, I need to analyze my heart as I
pursue tasks and grades and “success.” What values are driving me?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Are selfishness and pride a bigger part of my motivation
than I’d wish to admit? </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(Talking of grades—I kid you not, I had a nightmare this
week about a teacher giving me a C on a paper. In the dream, I argued and
argued with her but she wouldn’t change the grade, so I got really mad. I woke
up annoyed. Interpret that as you will!)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Perhaps it’s easy to give in to the rat race without analyzing
the values that drive it—and us—because it’s an accepted, expected part of our
culture. That’s just how you live life. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CfCDwClQApg/VFQUqZXYcVI/AAAAAAAAAW8/BovIOGL1pxU/s1600/4401651012_1570a75801_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CfCDwClQApg/VFQUqZXYcVI/AAAAAAAAAW8/BovIOGL1pxU/s1600/4401651012_1570a75801_z.jpg" height="320" width="216" /></a>It doesn’t have to be that way, but it will take courage to
change. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What values do you want to embrace? What values does <i>God </i>want you to embrace? Don’t let
society force you to blindly accept all its values, whether those values are embodied in the rat race or in something else. Don’t let society squeeze
you into a mold that doesn’t fit.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m challenging myself to look deep into my Bible and my
heart and change my attitude and my lifestyle accordingly. I’m challenging you
to do the same.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A busy lifestyle isn’t necessarily wrong. A 9-5 is not
necessarily meaningless. But what are your heart values in pursuing the life that
you have and embracing the standards of success that you hold?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How will you stand up against the rat race? What do you need
the courage to change? </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe you need to spend more time with family and friends. Maybe
you need to experience a period of missionary or volunteer service. Maybe you
need to seek first the kingdom of God. Maybe all you need to change is your
attitude toward your current situation.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know I need to do at least three things on that list!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don’t want to let society force me into a rat race for a “success”
that I don’t really believe in. I want to have the courage of my convictions. I
want to live out my true values. </span></span></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;">“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it
is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he
hears, however measured or far away.” Thoreau</span></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">“So how do you judge what a man is worth through
what he builds or buys? You can never see with your eyes on earth. Look through
heaven’s eyes. Look at your life through heaven’s eyes.” From the<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG0a9WFkgzU" target="_blank"> Prince of Egypt</a></span></span></span></span></blockquote>
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Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footer"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
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<![endif]-->Lynette Allcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12225566293452319571noreply@blogger.com1