Teaching is a huge responsibility. It’s going to require a huge amount of effort and dedication not only to successfully graduate with my B.A. in English-Education (and probably go on to get a Masters in ESL at some point in the future), but to be a successful teacher. I don’t want to simply get by. Nor do I only want to inspire my students with a love for English. The classroom is a mission-field, whether I end up teaching in America or going somewhere in Asia/other foreign places (as has been my leaning for a while). I'm a little scared. I don’t feel up to the job. Yet the conviction that teaching is what I’m meant to do with my life doesn’t go away.
“We want you to be more than a teacher; we want you to be a leader.” I’ve had quite a lot of experience in being a leader by now (how thankful I am for my time as a student missionary!). I’m not half as shy and retiring as I used to be (my roommate surprised me this week by stating I had a strong personality). Yet leadership and being “out there” still doesn’t come as naturally, and certainly not as comfortably, to me as it does to others. Being a leader is hard; being a follower is so much easier.
Maybe that’s the point. Maybe God wants me to do hard things this year. There are opportunities arising that I’ve wanted to say an emphatic No to, except that after praying about it I’ve been reluctantly convicted to say Yes. I can’t do it all on my own. I’m increasingly impressed with how much I need God's Spirit.
And so He whispers to me: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9)
"Learning, talents, eloquence, every natural or acquired endowment, may be possessed; but without the presence of the Spirit of God, no heart will be touched, no sinner be won to Christ. On the other hand, if they are connected with Christ, if the gifts of the Spirit are theirs, the poorest and most ignorant of His disciples will have a power that will tell upon hearts. God makes them the channel for the outworking of the highest influence in the universe... As the will of man co-operates with the will of God, it becomes omnipotent. Whatever is to be done at His command may be accomplished in His strength. All His biddings are enablings." (From Christ’s Object Lessons by Ellen White)